Do You Know What Today Is? It's My Anniversary!

Today while sitting at my desk, doing a face check in my hand held mirror... I spotted 2 knots in my hair and a split end. I said to myself, "It's time for a cut" and that's when I remembered what excited me so about May 2nd...

May 2nd 2009, in the wee hours of the morning, I took my last set of cornrows out, grabbed my hair shears and commenced to clipping my relaxed hair off.  I was nervous.  I had not cut my own hair since the age of 15 when I chopped off 5 inches of hair for a short bob.  My natural hair was not as easy to maneuver as relaxed hair and I was sure that even though I successfully cut off all of my relaxed hair, my hair was most likely uneven.  Sure enough when I blew my hair, I knew my next move would be the barber to even my afro.

Relaxed hair, for me, was easy. I went to the hair salon every 2 weeks for a shampoo, condition and doobie wrap. Every 6 to 8 weeks I got relaxer applied to the roots of my hair and my ends trimmed. I wore my hair out most of the time and in a pony tail other times. Simple. The longer it grew, the lazier I became and I did very little to maintain it.

I cut my hair because I really liked the natural look.  I noticed that my relaxed hair which was always full was beginning to thin - more than I was comfortable with.  I was also experiencing some damage in the crown of my head. But truth be told I did it under the urging of a man. I admit it.  I did.  But the desire was within me long before he showed up.  What I worried about most and what delayed my hair transition was my career - how I would be accepted and possibly promoted - and of course how I would manage daily.  I knew my natural hair was no where near as straight and silky as relaxed hair.  I never wanted to look crazy and unkempt... never.

Well I have looked crazy and unkempt a time or twenty.  My 2 year journey has not been as easy as I would have liked but I have loved my decision from the very beginning.  The man who urged me is no longer in my life.  Some folks have chosen to share their opinion of my hair and tell me they like me better before.  Fortunately I work for an institution that is diverse and within my 2 years I have been promoted.

I have always loved hair, doing hair and especially braiding and styling natural hair.  I have experimented with my hair, keeping it mostly in his naturally coarse state but I recently blew it out for a banquet I attended.  I tried something new with my hair new just this weekend.  After taking out my 2-strand twists, I rolled it with satin covered sponge rollers and released after about 7 hours... I like it!

This is my 2-day hair, Monday hair, slept on...

Today is my natural anniversary!  Something as small as embracing the natural me was such a great feat.  I love my freely, natural, sometimes curly, always unruly, very coarse but totally me hair! And yes it really is time for a cut!

random words i type...

she sought me out in a dark crowded club. i saw her when i first walked in, one of the 1st people i recognized and she made her way over to me.  it's been 17 years since high school graduation, this is our 2nd reunion made possible by way of facebook and it was good to hook up with old peeps.

she made her way through the crowd of people who were hugging, kissing, squealing "how are you", "you look great", "you look the same"... however when she turns to me she says... "do you still work in midtown?".  "no", i reply, "my unit has moved out to queens"... wow i thought, she must be asking because we used to work so close to each other. we made plans for lunch the last time we saw each other, exchanged business cards and all that.  she then says, "oh i figured that because there's no way you can get away with working in midtown with that hair."

???

my natural, coarse and wild hair?  i had no idea that midtown manhattan, which is the area between 14th and 59th streets, about 5 square miles, had stipulations on which state my hair or anyone's hair should be in. i can't even imagine midtown being some kind of entity that would frown upon and possibly banish me from entering unless my hair was somewhat more... acceptable?

i am not even fazed by this comment nor am i surprised.  this old schoolmate has always seemingly had this black may be beautiful but it's not always right mentally.  it has been a whole 366 days since i made the decision and cut my relaxed hair off.  i went from having 12 inches of relaxed hair...

to having 3 inches of natural hair...

and i have no regrets.  in fact, i could not be happier.

i could have been offended by her comment but i am not. in fact, i am flattered. i love that my hair grows out and up, defying gravity.  i like not having to put up an umbrella when it rains, knowing that my scalp will remain dry.  i enjoy not worrying about wrapping my hair every night and i am excited to work in a field where natural is acceptable - my director rocks a caesar, my supervisor has locs, and almost every woman of color in my worksite proudly flaunts their naturalness.

my facebook inbox is full of messages from friends and friends of friends who ask me when, how and why i cut off my hair and my daily regimen.  i receive compliments especially from people who never would have guessed that i would cut off my treasured relaxed hair, and as blog sister kay c wrote once on her blog, i receive lots of hands in my hair, especially from male acquaintances.

so now that the reunion is over and everyone is posting pics... i have this feeling that one of the messages in my inbox this week will be from this very woman... except this time she won't be asking something like, "girl, how they let you go to work like that" but more like... "i've been dying to do the very same thing... tell me how you made it happen".

The Evil In Me

This is a random...

I can't really call it evil or evilness. It's more like impatience, snappiness... essentially... burn out. I need time off from work, time off from church and this is not the right time...

So... I press. I woosah. And unfortunately I've also been showing my evil side.

Just because I'm sportin' a little 'fro does not mean that I look like Jill Scott. Jilly is absolutely beautiful but no I do not see the resemblance. Someone has dubbed me the library Angie Stone. HUH?!?! Now when I had longer hair, I was told I looked like Star Jones (plump Star, before the weight loss). Nah peeps, I look like me and I've yet to see a celebrity that I resemble.

Apologies for the evil leakage...

And no I'm not locking my hair! I'm going to let my afro grow and surround my head like a halo! I want it to be big, thick and unruly. I want to look like a throw back from the 70s. I want to look like I have a 12 inch vinyl record in the back of my head. And if someone touches my hair one more time to cop a feel because it looks hard... Guess what?! It is! I have coarse hair and it's splendid. No I'm not breaking down and perming it. You can't believe I cut my hair off? What made me do it? I did it because I wanted to. Get over it. It's only hair!!!!

Okay... I apologize again...

The evil in me does not like Femi Kuti, Nina Simone and Joshua Redman... Joshua Redman's Jazz Crimes is playing as I type... I usually listen to silence as type...

Oh and the evil in me does not like Sade... "You give me, you're giving me the sweetest taboo"...

And the evil in me loves it when I don't go to bed until the wee hours of the morning... so I wake up evil and the cycle repeats...

Good people, I'm off to Lala Land as Sade's By Your Side plays...