beat your own damn kids!

i have no children but i love them to pieces... and if by chance i become impregnated, i would be too-too happy. at this moment, however, i am childless.  i like to think that i'm "good" with children, meaning that i am approachable and easy to talk to about school, home life, esteem issues, relationships, and sex... my youth at church usually open up to me about these things.  and i even let them question me about my life and i answer them honestly.  they want to know if their experiences are unique to just them... and we all know that today's issues are not so unique... so i have no problem sharing.  my church youth know i have their back. i want what's best for them and even when i'm hard on them, they know that i do it in love.

i chose the title of this post because recently two of my friends have asked me to speak to their children and even discipline them about issues that i feel is beyond me as a non-parent.

their daughters don't live with me... i'm not the one who bought the short shorts, the wife-beaters, the hipster pants, the g-strings, the provocative shirts nor the make-up... so why should i be the one to tell them to clean up their image?

they didn't do or say anything to hurt me... i'm not the one who allows them to leave for the party at 11:00 pm and then turn around at get mad at them at 2:01 am when they don't turn the key in the lock... so why should i be the one to discipline them about how a proper young lady respects herself?

the last time i checked the legal drinking age is 21... yet you allow them to have a coupla drinks in the house, right?  but then you get upset with them when somebody else notices that your underage daughter is pissy drunk and throwing up and the pictures are all over facebook...


now one of the daughters i am talking about has even begun to talk back to, rip and run the streets all times of day and night and even curse at her parents... if the mother allows this to go down, then why is my cell phone ringing with this child's sweet voice on the other end telling me her mom wants her to talk to me?


i have personally laid my hands on plenty of children.  i truly have no problem popping, choking them, or my personally fave, collaring them.  i have reprimanded them when i felt their behavior was out of line.  children have been sent to me with bad report cards and i have echoed their parent's reactions... the emphasis is on echoing the parents... meaning that me and their mamas think along the same line... meaning that mom has already gotten in that behind and if i should say something it would only be so that the child has a "village experience". but when you turn a blind eye to their behavior or worse... you're afraid of being thrown in jail because your daughter thinks she's bigger and badder than you but you pay the bills, cook the food and put her ass through school, i say you rear your hand back... way back... and beat your own damn kid! 

I've Got 27 Babies

Their parents lend them to me and the other supervisors for a 2 hour interval every other Saturday and every 2nd & 4th Sunday for morning worship.

I'm referring to the Youth Choir at my Church.

Here we are photographed on Sunday, June 28, 2009, their Annual Day. I'm on the far right & the other supervisors are on the far left.

We sang, we celebrated and we had a good time concluding our 9 month cycle. It was hard work and we've had our share of ups and downs. If you happen to count the kids (I'm not really expecting you to), there are only 23 photographed. 2 couldn't make the event, 1 was there but he didn't participate due to a scheduling conflict and the last is on maternity leave...

We are perfect and imperfect works in progress.

It is an honor to work with these children. My Pastor appointed me to work with them 7 years ago... and I thought about quitting at least 12 times. Most people who work with youth ministries have experience working with children or have children of their own. Prior to this, I did not work with children and I do not have my own... yet through it all, I have grown with them and become attached to them.

I am proud of these talented, intelligent, marvelous children. 2 of the choir supervisors are mothers & grandmothers. The 2 younger supervisors (myself and another) have no children... yet I worry about these babies, I pray for them, I want them to excel and do better than their parents could even fathom, I want them to shine and outshine, dream dreams I couldn't even imagine. And I know my sister supervisor feels the same way.

We were honored with plaques commemorating our work and as I gave my remarks, my heart was so full I just wanted to bawl. But I held it together and said my thank yous... expressing my appreciation for all of our (church) family who helps and encourages us as we carryout our ministry.

2 of my babies are leaving to go to college. Both of them received full scholarships... I'm not just saying that my babies are intelligent, they really are! Another choir member, who didn't participate for the year because she had to attend Saturday school, graduated and also received a full scholarship for her studies. I know that these children excel because of their parents and their schools but also because of their connection to the Church.

One last thing... I forgot to tell my babies, on Sunday, that I love them. In my final remarks for the year, I forgot to tell them that I'm proud of them. I forgot to tell them to keep working hard, it's not in vain, they can be all that they want to be and even more. But as my friend who attended the annual day told me, "K, they already know" and I sure hope they do.