searching...

one day while sitting at my desk... bored... tired of facebook... having read all of the current posts from my favorite bloggers, i set out to search for something new... what better way to find a fresh blog than to look at your own profile, click on one of the interests and see what comes up...

well... i did that very thing and found me... i found an alternative blog i created two years ago. i have very few posts on it because i was a little unsure of what i really wanted to do with it, what i wanted to say. it was supposed to be my raw, peeled back, uncut version... my heart lies within thewordsitype... i created this blog three years ago... out of sincere interest and free time and to have a venue to write freely... to vibe with other bloggers...

i have been journaling but i seldom revisit what i have written... sometimes i throw out my journals (after destroying them) because i feel that i have grown and there's no need to hold on to those thoughts... if i do come across a journal and i read it i feel slightly embarrassed to have had those thoughts and experiences... as if it really wasn't the true me experiencing them... so it was surprising to look back on the blog i created 2 years ago. it's interesting to see how i changed and how i really haven't changed... how my truth is really etched into my being and not just sitting on my surface, easy to be erased or rearranged... i still desire the same things...  and the things i wanted to change, i did...

i suppose the reason why the other blog dropped off, it wasn't too much different from what i post here... just a parallel post with a slight bend to it...

Roy Ayers' "Searching"... you see my friend and i need someone / who feels and needs the same as i... i'm searchin'

post thankful day....

*** i bought food... i was gonna whip up an elegant non-turkey thanksgiving feast with fresh fish, roasted carrots and potatoes, string beans, cornbread stuffing... but my laziness overcame me.

*** i went out wednesday night and brought home leftover chinese food so i had vegetable mei fun, spring rolls... along with some moscato spumanti!

*** i can't recall the tv program i was watching... i am sure the memory will return to me later but i do recall listening to the music backdrop and hearing corinne bailey rae singing "is this love". i didn't recall how i knew the song until a couple of minutes later. i've said this before, that i do not like remakes... yet this one almost fooled me... her version of bob marley's original is nice!

*** i made 2 moves on thursday... from the bedroom to the livingroom... it was a solitudinal day. i spoke with my friends and relatives but i wasn't motivated to move and it was just what i needed... in my quiet time i took a moment to reflect over the 11 months of 2010 and all that i had to be thankful of... food i didn't want to cook, shelter, a closet spilling with clothes and shoes, steam from the radiator, and lastly but certainly not least my loving family... i'm so blessed....

who i am digging...

two weeks ago i sat in a forum listening to the gifted edwidge danticat, author of krik? krak!, a book of beautiful short stories detailing a war-torn haiti... when i first read krik? krak! 13 years ago, i was introduced to a haiti i never knew... a beautiful, lush, green island with a history deep and soulful... people with resilience and triumph etched in their bones... and i fell in love with her poetic style of writing.
i am hooked on edwidge and though some find her work to be a little dark... i find her to be riveting... engraved in her writings is perpetual empathy... i don't see "those haitian people" but a story of us... she has found a way of capturing and revealing the human spirit and connecting us all...
a fellow in the audience asked her to write about the beauty of haiti, to flip her stories into something more colorful and lifting... and her response was "that is not my story to tell but it seems like it's yours. you write about a colorful and lifting haiti. write the stories you want to read".
she is a strong advocate for issues surrounding haiti... much like wyclef jean, she loves and cherishes her island... her pride is estimable...

last night... i sat in that same forum listening to zadie smith... now i have to admit right here that i have not read through a zadie smith novel. i have picked up, borrowed white teeth, on beauty and autograph man from the library but can't seem to get past page 100... but i dig her and my email is set to track her so i receive updates and read her book reviews and articles... i used to have her picture on my desk at work... one day my co-worker/cut buddy asks me if i was crushing her and i had to admit that i was...  see zadie is october born, just like me... we were born in the same year... and she published her first novel the same year i graduated with my bachelor's degree... something about her seems so cool... so yeah, she's my girl-crush...
i thought i would have a problem listening to her interview because she has a british accent and when they get to talking freely it could very well sound as if she's speaking a foreign language but i did all right and her interview was perfect. she spoke eloquently and read that crafty feeling, an article she wrote on her writing process.
in her interview she said that writers are always reading. they don't mind waiting for a friend they are meeting because they will always have time to read. they measure time by how much they will be allowed to read... she was funny and sarcastic... a lover of english literature and america's hip-hop and that just made me like her all the more...

fine man friday... driis

2 Black 2 Strong... Hold On... Rise Up... Please Be True... Best That I Can... Extraordinary Love... Absolutely... Family... these are all songs on his High Class Problems debut release.

he's an actor... he's got a sexy british accent that i hope he never loses even though he's mastered an american accent... but he's also a rapper... and a singer... and on some of his tracks he sounds like he's originally from the jungles (pronounced jung-les) of jamaica as opposed to canning town, east london...


i like this one particular song where the sexy soul singer side of him sings... let your guard down... let this brother enter... your private garden... oooh can i assist you with your problems girl... let me show you a way to celebrate your life... i will be gentle with you baby... just let me show you... i won't hurt ya...


the song is private garden
and the sexy soul singer is

Idrissa Akuna Elba... aka Idris Elba / Alter Ego... Driis

fine man friday... love jones

Say baby, can I be your slave

I've got to admit girl, you're the shit girl

And I'm diggin' you like a grave

Now do they call you daughter to the spinning pulsar

Or maybe Queen of 2,000 moons

Sister to the distant, yet risin' star

Is your name Yemaya

Oh hell nah, it's got to be Oshun

Oooh, is that a smile me put on your face child

Wide as a field of Jasmine and Clover

Talk that talk honey, walk that walk money

High on legs that'll spank Jehovah

Shit, who am I?

It's not important

But they call me Brother to the Night

And right now

I'm the blues in your left thigh

Tryin' to become the funk in your right

He was O-Dog in Menace II Society - the street hustler that we all hated and loved... Drew Tate in The Inkwell - the potential arsonist who comes of age in Martha's Vineyard... Anthony Curtis in Dead Presidents - The Vietnam Vet turn armored truck robber ... but when he played Darius Lovehall in Love Jones... his character was oh so sincere and sexy...

This week's fine man Friday is....

Larenz Tate

I didn't see Love Jones when it came out in 1997. I must have been busy or something because I didn't get a chance to see the flick until I bought the DVD in 2008... right when my last relationship ended... right when I was seeking solitude and balance... right when I needed my faith in love restored...

This is a quote from LT's facebook page:

"Whether in a mainstream film or cult classic hit, I try to stay true to my personal mission of striving for excellence. As an actor, writer, and activist, I apply that same dedication to every aspect of my life."

Larenz aka LT has played in quite a few movies, but nothing touches me like Love Jones... the fact that the movie has a sweet combination of romance, intellect and sexiness makes this a Friday-night-I-have-no-plans, Nothing-good-is-on-cable, 3rd-date-let-me-feel-this-man-out-and-see-if-he-also-digs-this-flick kinda staple. And Larenz, hands down, delivers one of his best performances...

The link below is the Loves Jones flashback from this year's BET Awards... could Larenz be even more finer? Wheeew!

BET Videos

rainbows and such...

i really do appreciate the little things, such as:
hello/good morning/good evening/or a compliment from a stranger...
"thank you" for a job well done...
a quiet day at work...
watching butterflies...
good and creamy vanilla ice cream...
warm days and crisp nights...
hot tea - no milk, no sugar...
homemade mashed potatoes...
coffee with milk and sugar...
autumn leaves...
reggae music...
the steel drum...
good reading...

but... sometimes we get so caught up... so clouded... so run down that we can't even see the little things.
about a month ago i was leaving work, en route to church and i was running. running to the one train, to another train and then finally a bus that would get me closer to church with very little walking. i was hoping that each mode of transportation arrived on time, in sync so that i would get to my destination timely. when i got to the bus, my last transfer, (YES!) the bus was on time and as i began to board, my friend kept telling me to look up and i ignored her. finally i did and lo and behold there was the biggest, boldest, most beautifullest rainbow. i would not have seen it. i would have gotten on the bus and worried about the time but i am sure i would not have looked up.

i am glad i did.

it had been raining like crazy and that evening we finally had a break in the weather. the sky was perfect and blue and God had gifted His children with a beautiful rainbow. in the midst of my life and my running and trying to do and be so much, that rainbow signified that everything is always going to be all right...

fine man friday...

"Since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think its time we killed for our women,

be real to our women,

try to heal our women..."

this week's fine man friday is...

 tupac amaru shakur

Lesane Parish Crooks... 2Pac... 2Pacalypse... Pac... Makaveli... when Tupac hit the scene in the 90s with his flat top hair style, his intriguing eyes and a smile that melts the heart, he won me over. He was known for his controversial lyrics and lifestyle and though his rhymes consisted of explicit lyrics, one thing I always felt about Tupac is that... he loved women.

He sang about his love in songs like "Dear Mama" and "Keep Your Head Up" and in
Tupac: Resurrection, 1971-1996 he states "I love women. I'm not going to lie, I love women with a passion. Sometimes I just wanna call up Prince and be like "can we hang?", cuz I love women like he loves women."

Now why he had to go and add Prince to his mix?

There's more I can add about Tupac... for he was known for more than loving women but... loving community...
"We talk a lot about Malcom X and Martin Luther King Jr, but It's time to be like them, as strong as them. They were mortal men like us and everyone of us can be like them. I don't want to be a role model. I just want to be someone who says, this is who i am, this is what i do. I say what's on my mind."

and loving people...
"You gotta make a change. It's time for us as a people to start making some changes, let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live, and let's change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working so its on us, to do what we gotta do to survive."

He loved... and he thought it not punk nor puny but manly. He professed his love, openly and often and I appreciate him for it.

I end this post with a poem he wrote titled Jada...

u r the omega of my heart

the foundation of my conception of love

when i think of what a black woman should be

it's u that i first think of

u will never fully understand

how deeply my heart feels 4 u

i worry that we'll grow apart

and i'll end up losing u

u bring me 2 climax without sex

and u do it all with regal grace

u r my heart in human form

a friend i could never replace