Fine Man Friday...

I've been writing and re-writing this post for months... I started it about 6 months ago, the moment that he called to tell me that my fears were soon coming to pass.

"Aunty... I'm being deployed to Iraq."

Today he is leaving to go to Fort Hood.  He just called to tell me that he loved me.  I'm typing while crying y'all... In about a month he's flying to the Middle East. 

He joined the military against the wishes of everyone and he did it so innocently.  He's not a scholar, he's not good with his hands, he was working at some chicken joint and really wanted to do something with his life.  I remember when he called to tell me he was enlisting. 

I asked him not to, begged him not to, reminded him that we're in the middle of a war - it's like straight Revelations right now! - he said, so sweetly, made me think he was 5 years-old again... "but Obama is about to be elected and he's going to end the war".

I realized that I was not going to stop him.  My brother, his father, who was in the military tried to stop him but couldn't deter him.  I remembered how my mother told me that she begged my brother not to enlist.  "Go to college", she said - that was back when the City University was free - but he was following behind a friend and decided to go anyway.  With tears in her eyes she signed him up because at 17 he was too young to do it himself.  I remembered how my mother broke down every time we drove him back to LaGuardia or JFK to go back to his stationed state.  I knew the minute that my nephew enlisted, he wouldn't be traveling the world as my brother did, he would be trained and traveling to one destination...

He spent the holidays with me and we brought in this new year together, purposefully, before his deployment.  I love when my nephew visits because I put him to work.  He's been cooking for me since he was 8 and during this visit, I also made him clean.  While sweeping the floor, he looks at me innocently and asks when was I going to have children.  I told him that 22 years ago I had one son and he's enough.  Thank you Aunty, he said, "But I'm not your son and besides you were only a teenager when I was born".  With bass in my voice I told him that I said he was my son.  I reminded him that I was there when he was born, one of the first faces he saw was mine, how he used to call me "Mommy", how I was his first babysitter, how we'd play and how I used to pick him up from school and do his homework with him.  He recanted and said, "Well now that you say all that, I suppose you are my second mother...

Here's my Fine Man Friday... my 22 year-old baby... my nephew

then

and  now

May he be completely covered during his deployment... May he be strong and wise and connected... I am believing for and claiming his safe and speedy return.  Amen.

Fine Man Friday...

I'm drained.  Mentally, physically... I have just been so fatigued.  Besides weathering the elements, climbing over heaps of what was snow but is now ice... looking like something straight out of  a sci-fi movie... I have helped my pastor to finish his doctoral thesis.  I have toiled through many nights of writing and then worried about him completing his part.  We crammed what should have taken 8 months to complete into 3 weeks.  I. am. burnt. out.

That explains part of my absence...

I am in need of therapy, physical that is... I'm thinking massage (deep tissue) or perhaps vacation therapy (Bahamas) to escape the cold and the busyness...

I have heavily relied on my trusty companion, the MP3 player, which never leaves my side, nor does it fail me.  I've been soothed, consoled and even wooed by the soulful sounds of my Fine Man Friday who has been on heavy rotation.

He's a Detroit singer, songwriter, producer and his vocals gets me through my days and comforts my nights... I smile when I listen to him sing Possible:

Question, can your smile, lead to my hello?
And my hello, lead to a first date?
And a first date lead to a "Can't wait to do it again!"
Ain't no pressure, we can't just let love develop
Get to know one another, from a sister to a brother
I'm just wonderin'

At work I bob my head and dance my "cubbie dance" to I'm Cheating or I Think I Love You or Find A Way and during my evenings I listen to Old Lovas or The Simpleness of Passion.

My Fine Man Friday for this week is:

Andwele Gardner

Also known as Dwele

Here's a song I found on YouTube... and it's simply adorable... "Trust that trust is the only thing that will keep your love from seeing rain" L.O.V.E

 

fine man friday... he is legendary

this man must be a slave to his craft... it is embedded in his very being, in it he lives, moves and breathes... he is one of the most talented men and for that he has earned the status: legendary...

i was introduced to him in 1979. and since then we have had an unwavering commitment. he is an artist that i love to love. he continues to write, record, produce and play... for me... and i continue to enjoy and hang onto every note, cord, word.

he feels for me, he told me that i'm the marrying kind, he wants to be my lover, my mother and my sister too... he has promised me that until the end of time, he'll be here for me, i own his heart and his mind, he truly adores me.

there is not a genre that he cannot capture... i believe the world is his influence and his inspiration. he's not just a funk or r&b or rock and he's more than simply a pop artist... last year as me and my friend DC drove from pennsylvania back to new york he serenaded us along the highways... out of my left eye i caught her laughing and i asked her why. she said, damn i didn't know he was a rapper too! yes my man, he's all that and then some.

when i heard he was coming to the north east i threw my request to the universe... well it was more than a request, i staked my claim when i said, "i am going to see prince in concert".  that was back in november. sure enough one of my friends called me last night to tell me he and his wife bought our tickets and tonight i will scream and sing right along with prince at the izod center. i scoured my drawer to find the perfect pair of purple panties to fling at him... i didn't have any :-(

 Prince Rogers Nelson

tonight is gonna be a good night for slow love... i did a post last year, If Prince Gave Me a Private Concert... and tonight... well the concert won't be private... but an experience i will be sure to remember for the rest of my days.

here is where i would post a prince song that i love... i love so many and it's hard to choose. i would put purple rain, anotherloverwholenyohead, or adore or do me baby or if i was your girlfriend and i cannot not put i wanna be your lover but i choose "g.o.d". love theme from purple rain. i chose this because my mother bought this because i loved prince even more after purple rain (the movie and the album) came out. i watched that movie a total of 96 times in one year. i have every line memorized and i could do that iwouldie4you move so good! this was something my mother probably stumbled upon... and the little 45 is even purple. i still have it though i don't own a turntable...

fine man friday... i've got a jones

i really do... and you know what? joneses make you do things you don't normally do... make phone calls, wear certain types of clothing, go all kinds of places, do all kinds of things...

well this jones of mine... he's an older man. distinguished and debonair. he likes cognac and expensive cars and jazz... we have some things in common... some... but what moves me and what moves him are different... yet... i like that he likes what he likes... feel me?

some days me and my jones barely speak... and then other days we're talking and laughing endlessly... he is someone i feel for deeply... we are connected... we are friends... we haven't crossed the line of intimacy... and we probably never will... but then again heaven only knows... it's not necessary... like i said, we are connected... in a our phones are both busy because we're trying to call each other / we feel each other's gazes across a crowded room / we greet and talk with facial expressions and eye movements kind of a way...it's... special...

there is not much i can offer my jones... he already has everything he needs and he's picky about his wants... but every now and again i think of him and gift him with a little something... i was buying natalie stewart's floetic soul and a suggested choice appeared on the screen... amazon allows you to send mp3 downloads as a gift and i knew my jones would appreciate this...

my fine man friday is none other than...

Will Downing

my jones and will downing actually resemble each other... it's the dark skin and the bald head and they both seem to have a nice soothing baritone voice... below is a link for "a million ways"...

fine man friday... driis

2 Black 2 Strong... Hold On... Rise Up... Please Be True... Best That I Can... Extraordinary Love... Absolutely... Family... these are all songs on his High Class Problems debut release.

he's an actor... he's got a sexy british accent that i hope he never loses even though he's mastered an american accent... but he's also a rapper... and a singer... and on some of his tracks he sounds like he's originally from the jungles (pronounced jung-les) of jamaica as opposed to canning town, east london...


i like this one particular song where the sexy soul singer side of him sings... let your guard down... let this brother enter... your private garden... oooh can i assist you with your problems girl... let me show you a way to celebrate your life... i will be gentle with you baby... just let me show you... i won't hurt ya...


the song is private garden
and the sexy soul singer is

Idrissa Akuna Elba... aka Idris Elba / Alter Ego... Driis

fine man friday... love jones

Say baby, can I be your slave

I've got to admit girl, you're the shit girl

And I'm diggin' you like a grave

Now do they call you daughter to the spinning pulsar

Or maybe Queen of 2,000 moons

Sister to the distant, yet risin' star

Is your name Yemaya

Oh hell nah, it's got to be Oshun

Oooh, is that a smile me put on your face child

Wide as a field of Jasmine and Clover

Talk that talk honey, walk that walk money

High on legs that'll spank Jehovah

Shit, who am I?

It's not important

But they call me Brother to the Night

And right now

I'm the blues in your left thigh

Tryin' to become the funk in your right

He was O-Dog in Menace II Society - the street hustler that we all hated and loved... Drew Tate in The Inkwell - the potential arsonist who comes of age in Martha's Vineyard... Anthony Curtis in Dead Presidents - The Vietnam Vet turn armored truck robber ... but when he played Darius Lovehall in Love Jones... his character was oh so sincere and sexy...

This week's fine man Friday is....

Larenz Tate

I didn't see Love Jones when it came out in 1997. I must have been busy or something because I didn't get a chance to see the flick until I bought the DVD in 2008... right when my last relationship ended... right when I was seeking solitude and balance... right when I needed my faith in love restored...

This is a quote from LT's facebook page:

"Whether in a mainstream film or cult classic hit, I try to stay true to my personal mission of striving for excellence. As an actor, writer, and activist, I apply that same dedication to every aspect of my life."

Larenz aka LT has played in quite a few movies, but nothing touches me like Love Jones... the fact that the movie has a sweet combination of romance, intellect and sexiness makes this a Friday-night-I-have-no-plans, Nothing-good-is-on-cable, 3rd-date-let-me-feel-this-man-out-and-see-if-he-also-digs-this-flick kinda staple. And Larenz, hands down, delivers one of his best performances...

The link below is the Loves Jones flashback from this year's BET Awards... could Larenz be even more finer? Wheeew!

BET Videos

fine man friday...

"Since we all came from a woman, got our name from a woman, and our game from a woman. I wonder why we take from our women, why we rape our women, do we hate our women? I think its time we killed for our women,

be real to our women,

try to heal our women..."

this week's fine man friday is...

 tupac amaru shakur

Lesane Parish Crooks... 2Pac... 2Pacalypse... Pac... Makaveli... when Tupac hit the scene in the 90s with his flat top hair style, his intriguing eyes and a smile that melts the heart, he won me over. He was known for his controversial lyrics and lifestyle and though his rhymes consisted of explicit lyrics, one thing I always felt about Tupac is that... he loved women.

He sang about his love in songs like "Dear Mama" and "Keep Your Head Up" and in
Tupac: Resurrection, 1971-1996 he states "I love women. I'm not going to lie, I love women with a passion. Sometimes I just wanna call up Prince and be like "can we hang?", cuz I love women like he loves women."

Now why he had to go and add Prince to his mix?

There's more I can add about Tupac... for he was known for more than loving women but... loving community...
"We talk a lot about Malcom X and Martin Luther King Jr, but It's time to be like them, as strong as them. They were mortal men like us and everyone of us can be like them. I don't want to be a role model. I just want to be someone who says, this is who i am, this is what i do. I say what's on my mind."

and loving people...
"You gotta make a change. It's time for us as a people to start making some changes, let's change the way we eat, let's change the way we live, and let's change the way we treat each other. You see the old way wasn't working so its on us, to do what we gotta do to survive."

He loved... and he thought it not punk nor puny but manly. He professed his love, openly and often and I appreciate him for it.

I end this post with a poem he wrote titled Jada...

u r the omega of my heart

the foundation of my conception of love

when i think of what a black woman should be

it's u that i first think of

u will never fully understand

how deeply my heart feels 4 u

i worry that we'll grow apart

and i'll end up losing u

u bring me 2 climax without sex

and u do it all with regal grace

u r my heart in human form

a friend i could never replace

fine man friday...

eventually i may come up with a better term than "fine man friday" but for the time being, that's the tag i'm giving it... fridays are my days to pay homage to the fine men i like to look at... perhaps i'll add a little content like i did a couple of years ago with my chocolate brown brother/brown brother lust week...

the fine man i've chosen for this friday is....

Lonnie Rashied Lynn, Jr. AKA Common Sense- now known simply as Common

image location:
http://www.last.fm/music/Common/+images/27135681

Mr. Hill Harper

One day... a number of years ago... me and DC (my sister-girlfriend) were sitting in D.allas B.BQ, the one on 72nd Street, near The Dakota, a famous New York landmark... also well known as the residence of John Lennon. As we sat eating, the waiter comes over and asks us the name of the actor who was seated behind us. Quickly we twisted our necks and what came out of of mouths was more than his name but a chant, that is now burned in our brains....

Hill Harper, Hill Harper,
Hill Harper

Also known to me and DC as the Hill Harper song...

Then he was an actor on City of Angels and starring in movies such as "In Too Deep" but Hill is currently making his mark as an inspirational speaker and author, not to mention playing the part of Dr. Sheldon Hawkes on CSI: NY.

I admire Hill... Along with being an accomplished actor, he has a JD and an MPA but chooses to act and to bring awareness to the issues of young people, encouraging them through his publications. I am anticipating his new title... The Conversation: How Black Men and Women Can Build Loving, Trusting Relationships to be released on September 8, 2009.