Thursday, April 8, 2010
brevity of life
shortly after the phone call ended, i received a text from one of my sisters from church. the death angel has visited my fellowship and the family of one of our esteemed members. we all knew he was transitioning. he has been battling cancer for the past 18 months and the doctors sent him home on sunday night with painkillers and hopeful wishes. today i received a text i wasn't prepared for, a text that makes all of my nonsense suddenly ridiculous. while i argue with my love and long to see him, hold him, i am grateful that i heard his voice this morning and i still have him in my life while my big sister in the faith is saying her final goodbyes to her soulmate. the pain i have in my heart is now for her and her family.
upon leaving the restroom where i cried myself into a full-blown headache, i made another vow to live life to the fullest. oh i make this vow daily! vowing to treat e'rybody right, love like i never been hurt, give until it feels good but i find that when i shut off my lights and crawl under the covers at night, i've yet to hit the easy button or signed off as a job complete. i've still got work to do.
life is short. we all know that. my older faith brother was in his late 50s and i hope that before he breathed his final exhale he rectified all of the times he forgot to appreciate, failed to make amends and didn't say i love you.
my love has been the balm needed to make it through my season. he's the one who tucks me in at night and who calls me early in the morning. he's the one who makes sure i make it in to work on time and who checks up on me to see if my day is good. he's the one who hears me sniffles and sends me money for a space heater because it's cold at my workplace. he's the one who asks me, everyday, "did you write today?" and encourages me to do so because he knows that writing is my outlet. he's the one i prayed for, the one that's needed, the one that right now occupies my heart space, the one i love. i am grateful for him. truly i am.
RIP to "Earl the Pearl"... I already miss him dearly and because of him, today, I am reminded of what matters most.