Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Hump Day -- Favorite Things

Not really much to post today... I was listening to Pandora and the Eric Benet station when "Beauty" from Dru Hill comes on ...

"Walks by me every day

Her and love are the same

The woman that's stolen my heart

And beauty is her name I'm hoping I can make you mine

'For another man steals your heart

And once your beauty is mine

I swear we will never be apart"

Then I switched to the OutKast station and J. Dilla's "So Far To Go" comes on.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


I have a friend who was in love with Jay-Z. Not just like being a fan and having every album, poster or t-shirt with his face on it. Even more than that. She was in a relationship with him, yet, she never met him...

She would talk about her and Jay as if they had very real dealings. And like any real relationship when she was stressed, Jay was always there to talk to. Now by textbook standards my friend is unmistakably crazy but she's one of my oldest peeps and I understand how every now and again we all need somebody to lean on. Hell it could have been me & Nas or Andre 3000 or Michael Jai White.

Thankfully my friend and Jay broke up.

I say all that to say that I too was in an imaginary relationship. Not with Jay or any of my imaginary lovers that I mentioned above but someone who showed his face every now and again. Someone who sent a text or two when the mood hit him. Someone who sporadically occupied my bedroom space and when he left always took a piece of me with him. Someone who I thought I felt very deeply for but I think that I may have been imagining that. Someone who I feel very connected to and shared so much with even now I feel confused about my decision.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


I thought of this post while over at Divalicious Opinions...

I wrote about the girl scout cookies eateration we had at work last week and you know the more sugar you eat, the more you want to eat. I tried to stop the cycle on Friday by bringing in fresh fruit for us to munch on. Apparently that didn't work because this week it's Pepperidge Farm's cookies.

So I thought about my list of Devil's Foods, the delicious edible creations that pack on the pounds and make me wonder what in the world has gotten in to me, tape worms, unplanned babies, that make me just want to splurge...

If you have never eaten anything from there, don't bother. Wanna gain 5 pounds in one weekend? Go there on a Friday & a Saturday night! They even entice you by singing songs as they are throwing and juggling ice cream scoops in the air like Satan's happy little elves.

I went there on Friday and my little weight loss from last week went straight to hell after. I got the veggie version but with the guacamole, the sour cream and the cheese (fat, fat and fat with the vegetables, I know)... They even had the nerve to tack on the caloric values of the food on the menu... that's guilt. Thanks Chipotle.

Chris Rock said it best " Krispy Kreme? Kracky Kreme. Krispy Kreme Donuts are so good, if I told you it had crack in it, you would be like, "I knew it was something in there. These donuts are too good. Got me going there at 4 o'clock in the morning going, "Come on, man, open up. Let me have at least one donut. I'll do anything. I'll suck your dick!" That should be the new slogan. Krispy Kreme: So good, you'll suck a dick."

  • Don't believe the Jamba hype
Jamba Juice is like crack too. They must put some kind of drug in there! There's always a dang line in the location, even in the winter time. I went to Jamba Juice once and the next day I went back. Now every time I see the pretty golden and the green color, my heart palpitates with the Jamba happiness. It's like when I see the golden arches and the red color of McDonald's... And they are expensive too! I thought I could recreate my own Jamba happiness at home but fresh exotic fruits are expensive.

Last but not least....

I'm not as impressed by Starbuck's as I used to be but I still love a coffee/milkshake/smoothie with whip on top. Only in the summer time of course. During this impending recession it's probably wise to avoid Starbuck's all together.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Friday Thoughts

Happy Friday All!!!! I hope each of you enjoys this upcoming weekend to the fullest.

Girl Scout Cookies... are the devil. Whoever sells them works for Satan. I bought 3 boxes, which I'm taking home to my partner and his child. Well the 1 and 1/2 boxes that I still have. Anyway, my co-worker, Saki, buys 4 boxes and won't take them home to her plus sized children but she'll keep them at the j-o-b for us to devour... and that's exactly what we've been doing. Thankfully I did as CB told me to do and spent 55 hours on my stationary bike this week. I'm happy with the results.

My parents... My Dad is still trying to mack my Mom. It's cute in a sick kind of way because they are still legally married after 31, almost 32 years but they have been separated for 15 years. My Dad has girlfriendS and my Mom knows the deal but it seems like he's only after her for one thing and my Mom is not impressed by him at all. Good for her! It's cute because he calls her asking her if she's available, telling her he wants to see her and all that. But he's not trying to wine and dine her, show her he's a changed better man. He just wants some action.... ILL

Springtime is something else... Now you see what people have been doing shacked up in the house all winter long. The train, the job, the churches, the nail salon, the department stores... PREGNANT WOMEN ARE EVERYWHERE! And it's warm today in NYC so jackets are off and tight t's are showing the business. I'm only slightly jealous.

That's all I'm coming up with right now... may post again later... may save it all for Monday. In any case...

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Co-Workers.... Swiss

Co-Worker definition, according to

Another person you are forced to be around 40+ hours a week in order to earn a
paycheck. Outside of work, you would NEVER want to associate with this person
except to point to them and tell the police, "Yeah, there's the idiot that stole
your squadcar right there Officer".

As is expected in a Library, I have some of the most annoying co-workers. Of course there's Saki, but there's another.... we'll call her Swiss, she has been laying down the sarcasm something serious yet passing it off as questions. For instance one day last week we were out to lunch, by we I mean me, FP and CB. Swiss pops up in the pizza shop and sits at our table. FP, CB and myself, we're brown people and we're having a very brown conversation. Swiss chimes in every now and again with a question or comment. We were not purposely discussing something that she could not understand but us 3 are always together and well, we don't really like Swiss and we were not trying to be inclusive.

The highlight of lunch was when I was talking to CB about kicking her out of my life. The term I used was from a previous private joke and Swiss says "What did you say about CB and a bucket of chicken?". That was the last straw and before I lost it, I got up and left the spot.

I know I should have said more. We weren't near Library property, I could have shoved my foot deep, pulled out the knives and started slicing but I simply walked away but I was mad as hell about it all day.

Anyway, I got some relief by youtubing one of my favorite scenes from the Austin Power trilogies. Here's to you Swiss!

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Past Love, Part II

Didn't want to wait too long to post Part II...

I mentioned that Craig was a drunk... but he was/is a functional drunk. He went to work each day, even though he was late and he drank up his rent money. While we were involved, he actually rented out his bedroom and slept on his couch. This was after months of pleading for me to move in or help his out financially and I declined to do both.

So after seeing the woman I told her that I was a friend to Craig's roommate, the dude who rented the bedroom. While conversing she told me that she was there to meet Craig. Craig stood up in the middle of the living room like an idiot. He didn't know what to do with himself.

I never made it to the bathroom but Craig tried to grab me up and pull me into the bathroom when I wouldn't budge off of the couch. That was when I flipped his keyboard on the floor. I knew that would stop him because he is a musician. The woman he invited over stayed clear out the way, lucky for her.

He tried to hug me because I started to cry (out of anger) when the reality of the situation hit me but I pushed him off of me and he fell into the wall where the lamp was and it hit the floor.

When I tired myself of the drama, I decided to leave as Craig kept trying to stop me, telling that I would never leave him. That angered me so because I really did not want to leave him. That was one very convenient arrangement! I would leave his house at 6:00 am on a weekday, head to my house to shower and change and head to work on time.

I wish I could say that that was the last time I saw Craig but it wasn't.

About a month later I get a phone call from a producer from the Jerry Springer show inviting me out to Chicago to talk about relationships. Craig had called to schedule us to be on to discuss men who are in abusive relationships with women!!! Once again I was livid. My homie DC happened to be at my house and even though I deleted Craig's number from my phone, it came right back as I called him while I walked right over to his house. Me and DC roll up and Craig is all calm and subdued as he explains to DC that he's recently recovering from his injuries and that I destroyed his family heirlooms - all the while he's drinking a Heineken. It was 11:00 am.
I told him that he better not be calling the People's Court or Judge Judy because I'd really injure him. Craig has dreams of being on TV and he'd already appeared on an Judge Greg Mathis episode.

I never saw Craig after that. He called to wish me a happy mother's day (by the way I do not have children) one year but that was about it. I see his fat head brother (yes the one who is married and came over that day) every now and again but that's about it.

Like I mentioned I was never disappointed with Craig. I mean that man drove me c-r-a-z-y. It's kind of like that Jill Scott song "Cross My Mind" and the lyrics:

"But the reality where never good for me and I was never good for you. I just remember what we used to do..."

Past Love, Part I

I woke up this morning thinking of one of my past loves. While Craig was not one of my best past loves, I was never disappointed in the O department. However Craig was a drunk, probably still is and I should have known better before we crossed the line.

We hooked up somewhat seriously when Craig had fortunately moved into a building directly around the corner from me. I could see him everyday if I wanted to. Most of all I wasn't crowded by his presence or his belongings, nor was he crowded by mine. I didn't compromise his space, however from the remnants left behind, several females did.

First I found a pair of thongs. There were located in a pile of clothes but I really wasn't searching. The thongs were bright orange and simply stuck out. He told me that they were an old pair he got from another woman years ago but he happened to keep them and move them from the old apartment. It was believable so I turned a blind eye.

Secondly I found bobbie pins. I happened to come over after work one day and instead of watching TV in the living room, we watched from the bedroom and underneath the pillow were 3 hair pins. He told me his brother must have brought some woman over while he was at work. I really didn't believe this but hey men will be men and I was holding out so I knew he was getting it from somewhere.

Thirdly I found some unmentionables in the bathroom trash. I was livid because at that point he and the woman he messed with were just plain ole nasty. He told me it wasn't his but he had a few friends and some strippers over one weekend and they must've left it. I gave him serious fever over this because right about this time we were sexually involved. Yet I still forgave him.

Fourthly I found a picture of a female. Well I didn't find it and I didn't have to snoop because kneegro had the picture proudly displayed on top of his TV. I ripped the picture up and I cursed him out. He apologized profusely. It wasn't his picture he told me but a picture of his brother's co-worker. I let it slide.

Fifthly... One Saturday night I was home and on the phone with Craig and we were arguing, probably over his cheating and lying. He told me to cut the crap and come over so we could discuss the issue face to face. I figured once we saw each other the fighting would cease (if you know what I mean). I clearly took too long because by the time I got there dumb ass Craig opens the door but he won't let me in which infuriated me. I insisted that I really had to use the bathroom and after I pinched him and threatened him with a straight pin (he was afraid of straight pins-LOL) idiot boy let me in. I was cool. I really was but home girl from the picture was sitting on the couch. Craig introduced us and I immediately recognized her. He told me she was his brother's co-worker and was waiting for his brother there. Craig's brother is married with a team of children so I understood why he was meeting a lady at Craig's house but something rubbed me wrong and I started questioning, especially since she was looking past me towards Craig and he was probably telling her I was some crazy nutcase.

Long story somewhat shorter, I hung around until Craig's brother showed up but by the look on his face I knew the deal and I didn't start any drama. I simply told Craig that I was leaving and though I was really hurt and I really wanted to do some bodily harm to this man but I didn't.

I will admit to throwing some crap at him but he ducked and missed them. I admit to destroying his lamp and knocking his keyboard on the floor but that was it, really harmless. Nobody was hurt...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

My - NEW AMERYKAH - Thoughts

Ahhhhhhh! It's 5:30 pm and everybody is gone... except for Saki. It's all right though because my headphones are on and I'm blasting NEW AMERYKAH!

I know, I know, I'm late! I just bought the CD last week Friday and I left it at home and in the package since. However, I have been chair dancing, hip shaking and head bobbing all day.

A few weeks ago I saw Ms. Badu on VH1 SoulStage. I love her transition and her growth is brilliant. There is nothing like seeing Erykah Badu live. I love the other neo-soul vocalists, I do, but Erykah....

My faves on the album so far are "The Healer", "Me", "Soldier", "Master Teacher" and "That Hump". That's half the album because there are only 10 songs.

I am moved yet I feel eerie by the song "Telephone".... a tribute to J. Dilla who passed away on February 10, 2006.

Erykah is gone be at Radio City in May and I know I'm late for this too but I've got to buy some tickets. My mother happens to work for the Cablevision subsidiaries and when I suggested that she pick up my tickets, she gave me one of the ugly looks... apparently a few years ago Badu was in concert and my mother worked her after party and Erykah asked for a napkin without acknowledging my mother with a hello nor a thank you. Every since my mama can't stand Erykah even though she credits with for being a helluva entertainer.

The only disappointment I have is that "Annie" is not on the CD. Now how can she not put that song on there! "Annie" is that funky song that is featured in the "Honey" video, which is similar to the "Hey Ya" video which was inspired by the Beatles performance on the Ed Sullivan Show sometime in the 1900s~lol.

Here is Ms. Badu singing "Annie" live on VH1 Soulstage....

Monday, April 14, 2008

Meeting in the Ladies Room

My co-worker CB comes over to my desk today to chit chat about her weekend. So that we wouldn't have to worry about my supervisor, we decide to head down to the ladies room so that we could shoot the breeze and laugh without being conscious.

I didn't realize it at first and I don't think CB did either but in the last stall, we had company and that person wasn't budging. I'm a little nosey curious and I inched toward the sink where CB happened to be standing so that I could look into the mirror to see the feet of whoever it was who was in the stall. I see slacks and I see the shoes....

At that moment I realize that whoever was in the stall, they weren't moving until we left the facility so I hurry up and we file out. CB turns to me and we discuss the person in the last stall but instead of going back to our office, we wait directly outside the bathroom for the person to exit, just to confirm our suspicions.

A woman exits the bathroom shortly after we leave but she's not wearing those gray slacks and black shoes... so we wait.... not long after, slowly, the man emerges.... At first CB and I are leaning on the wall like Crockett and Tubbs but when the obviously newly hired security guard comes out, CB takes off laughing down the hall. He's nervous as hell, saying "wait, shush, wait, I'm new, I didn't know". I kept my poker face as I let assured him that it was okay even though we waited to see if our suspicions were true and the hysterical CB is now around the corner.

There really is no way he could have known... there's no sign on the door saying women or men, there's no...

Nor is there a...

So it really is anyone's guess, especially if you are new and I doubt that the other security guards are that helpful to tell him that the men's room is the door the left not the right, unless he has his left and right mixed up...?

But then again, the biggest difference between the men's room and the ladies room is one of these....

Oh well, this was my Happy Monday laugh! LMAO

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Music is My.....

I love music... from gospel to soul to rock...

Music is therapeutic.... it soothes... it comforts.

Music is my medicine after a long day... a dose of music helps me through the day (Pandora)... it's my remedy after or during an argument...

The collaboration of the instruments and the vocalizations have me dancing in my seat at work, belting out loud at home at 1:00 am and provides a supreme stress relief on the subway coming into work and going home.

My faves are too numerous to post but here are several lyrics that speak to my heart... for the moment...

"I felt Dizzy, Sonya, heaven, and Miles between my thighs / Better than love, we made delicious" ~"Love Rain", Jill Scott

"When it's stormy outside, it's calm in my heart, with you in my arms / And when you're away from me, I wish it would rain 'cause it's always the same"
~"Making Love in the Rain", Herb Alpert, Janet Jackson & Lisa Keith

"She is my girl.. my world.. my girl, And I'm so mighty mighty proud about it, Ain't no shame in my game, Oh.. No, I wanna show you off, I wanna let them know, Let the whole world know I'm.., Loving my baby now, Loving my baby now, Ain't nobody, I said ain't no lady lady lady better than my baby, See I'm so mighty mighty mighty proud.. mighty proud, Babe, it's makin me dance, Makin me dance" ~"Fortunate", Maxwell

"From the first time I saw your face/Girl, I knew I had to have you/I wanted to wrap you with my warm embrace/Visions of your lovely face/ All my love is for you/Whatever you want I will do/You're the only one I want in my life/For you I'll make that sacrifice" ~"Let's Chill", Guy

"You're different and special in every way imaginable/You love me from my hair follicles to my toenails /You got me feeling like the breeze, easy and free and lovely and new /Oh when you touch me I just can't control it /When you touch me, I just can't hold it / The emotion inside of me, I can feel it" ~"He Loves Me (Lyzel in E Flat)", Jill Scott

"Don't think twice of our love, I love you but it's hard to explain, and I'm hoping that you're feeling the same way, You know that all of my, feelings are inside, and verbally I tend to forget
how much I L-O-V-E U Really means" ~"Lately", Tyrese

"When 2 are in love / They'll whisper secrets only they 2 can hear
When 2 are in love / Their stomachs will pound every time the other comes near
When 2 are in love / Falling leaves will appear 2 them like slow motion rain
When 2 are in love / The speed of their hips can be faster than a runaway train
~"When 2 R in Love", Prince

And when this song comes on, you know the party has started....

"To find a love like ours is rare these days / 'Cause you've shown me happiness, yes, in so many ways / I look in the mirror, and I'm glad to see / Laughter in the eyes where tears used to be" ~"Your Precious Love", Marvin Gaye & Tammy Terrelle

"You see there will always be someone, taller, darker / Maybe wit a little of cheese than I got
But really, shawty you don't need nobody else / Cause baby I am (I am) the opening act (the opening act) / The headliner (the headliner) and the after party"
~"Movin' Cool (The After Party)", Outkast

"If you give me half a chance / I'll prove this to you / I will be patience, kind, faithful and true / To a man who loves music / A man who loves art / Respect's the spirit world / And thinks with his heart" ~"Ready for Love", India Arie

"Now you won't find me at no store / I have no time for manicures / With you it's never either or / 'Cause nothing even matters no more" ~"Nothing Even Matters", Lauryn Hill & D'Angelo

"Touch me and I feel your femininity /Girl you're the lady women want to be / Softly you move when you're making love to me / Love me every night with femininity"
~"Feminity", Eric Benet

The entire song lyrics to "I'll Never Leave" & "Heart of a Woman" ~R. Kelley, Chocolate Factory

*This post is inspired by "Speaks To My Heart" by DeepNThought

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

IN... L.O.V.E...

CB is in love. My home gurl~co-worker~lil sis is so in love and I'm ecstatic for her. It's so cute to hear her talk about her boo... everything he says & does is sooo cute, even when they are mad at each other. I hate to unburden my pitiful madness on her but I do it anyway. I'm so glad that she doesn't dig up anything to complain about just so we could be on the same page. NO - the power of love is much too potent that it blocks out my relationship pettiness and overcomes it with new love sweetness...

What I'm also glad about is that I had the opportunity to talk to her boo today and it's clear that the feelings are mutual. I don't know what "the kid" has put on him but in my belief he's just as sprung as she is.

I remember having those same feelings....

My heart would stop or beat faster when I thought about him... my eyes would well up with tears with simple reflections... didn't think I'd let myself fall... I did everything in my power to prevent myself from retreating...

Slowly with every long & easy conversation... every kiss... every love making session when my bodily muscles tensed and secretions flowed....

I found myself captivated... seized... surrendering... and there I drifted in great, astonishing moments of bliss...

Sweetness poured from his lips... his hands always inviting... stroking... comforting...

Anticipating phone calls just to hear his voice... falling asleep on the phone... after midnight love games... pillow talking... play wrestling... cooking together... cooking for each other... watching him enjoy the food I prepared in love... laughing at everything and nothing at all... together...

CB is in her mid 20s and it's easy to attribute her giddiness to youth and inexperience but I'm a witness to love emerging and enduring through seasons, cycles, struggles...

What I like about CB is that she took her time. She didn't meet dude and fall in love with him within the first 2 weeks of knowing him and if she did, she was very good at keeping her emotions inside. Instead their love seemed to simmer slowly.

I truly wish the best for her. Lawd knows we've seen some loves come and go in both of our lives during our friendship and it's my hope that this is the one that seals the deal...


Because I've never been in a bridal party, not a bride's maid nor a maid of honor... AND because I want some God-children to baby-sit and help rear.

CB deserves it. We all deserve it. Real love.
It offers hope. Especially during this spring time season emerging.

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but it rejoices in truth.
Love always trusts, and believes all things.
Love always hopes.
Love always perseveres.
Love goes on forever.