Thursday, June 26, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Alicia Keys's Performance & Ode to the Girl Groups
Maxwell Reemerges to pay homage to Al Green
Al Green takes it to Chuuurch! "Love & Happiness"
Thursday, June 19, 2008
Monday, June 16, 2008
Last year I restarted speaking to one of my coworkers who I used to date.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Lately I seem to be a day late... especially when it comes to the holidays. I don't know exactly why and at times there's just no making up.
For instance I forgot to wish my main on-the-job man a Happy Father's Day. This man has promised me that I would be one of my baby mothers and for some unknown reason it completely slipped my mind to give him special wishes on the day delegated to fathers. How could I allow that to happen?!?!
On a serious note, I consider him one of my friends and he's on my mind daily. I had every intention of sending him a text or give him a call but I just didn't scroll my phone down to his name when I was selecting men to wish a happy day to. Today I felt his wrath and I could tell he was upset with me or just a little hurt. I wish I could make it up but I guess I have to do better next year.
Then there's my Daddy. I didn't forget him at all. I just didn't get him anything.... yet.
My father already has everything. It is believed that it's difficult to shop for someone who already has everything but it really isn't. You just give them more of what they already have... My father is vacationing in Antigua this year so I'm getting him a gift card so he can do some shopping before he leaves.
I am so grateful for my father... for his being a father to me, for his love and dedication. I know of some fathers who don't parent after the marriage ends or in my parent's case, once they separate. But I'm grateful for an unbreakable bond with my dad. He's a 365 day father, unwavering, supporting, uplifting, and caring father.
2nd Saturday in June
I spent some much needed time with my godchild on Saturday. The last time I saw or spoke to him was the 2nd Saturday in June 2007. I usually don't have have the guilt mechanism but when it comes to that little boy... I wish I could give him the world and half of my bank account and everything else he could ask for.
My godson, Elijah, performs with a Brooklyn-based African cultural arts program and he plays the drums and dances Capoeira and Hip-Hop and he's so extraordinary. I love him so much and he never holds a grudge or gives me shade if he doesn't see me. He hugs me and holds my hand as if he sees me everyday and I know that has everything to do with his mother, my other sister-friend, KC.
I've known KC for almost 20 years now. We started out as friends but through the growing pains and a few rough patches, we meshed into a sisterhood. We don't talk but about 4 times a year and we usually stay on the phone for 3 hours a stretch but what we have is remarkable and I'm grateful for her and her son.
I posted a few weeks ago about being intentional with words. But as I type, I'm thinking of being intentional with my actions. It is my desire to truly show the people in my life that I love them and adore them. I sincerely WANT to be more intentional in showing them my love and concern. I want to shout them out and let them know without a doubt that I appreciate them. And I know that I must follow through in my actions. I forgive myself for slipping up this past year but as I move forward, grow and learn, I will be more intentional in my thoughts, words and actions.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
I reminiscence on the nineties when all of my friends were off getting married, getting pregnant and/or then getting married. We were young, early twenties, however me, D.C. and a few other friends steered clear of the trend... along with the fact that we didn't receive marriage proposals...
Well I had a sorta kinda marriage proposal. My ex's mother told me how the Lord showed her in dream that me and her son were married and so we should just go ahead on. I explained to her and her son that the Lord didn't reveal it to me. My answer was NO. It's not that I didn't love my ex but goodness, I wanted him to propose to me because he wanted to spend his life with me, not his Mama's false prophesying. We broke up months later and he married another woman 15 months after that.
I mentioned above that we steered clear of the trend and I say that because some of our friends married because they loved their significant others and wholeheartedly devoted themselves rather than following the pack. However a lot of them followed the pack, getting married because it was "the thing" to do and those marriages fell apart, including my ex's.
Marriage, while it is a societal norm - beneficial to society at large... a rite of passage if you will, It is not a decision that you jump into just because...
- Your Mama told you to
- All of your friends are doing it
- You slipped up and now you're pregnant
- You want the other person to change or stop nagging
- You need somebody to help you pay off your bills
- You're lonely
- To justify your love
I see and respect marriage as an institution and the support it offers the community, especially Black marriages that endure centuries, marriages that may reach the edge yet they don't fall off because of straightforward devotion.
On the other hand... I don't know if marriage is for me... mostly because I have not met one man I would like to spend the rest of my life with. Now if you're a reader, then you know I'm in a committed relationship. So you may ask, K, how is that possible? Short answer... because we have problems that are not resolved and I do not know if I can accept them... ever.
And with that, I am beginning to post my Love List again. I first read this article in O Magazine back in February of this year and I started it initially, probably back in March (I haven't checked my archives) but I dropped it. I'm starting it again to document my true love desires. I vow to get to 100 this time. Here goes...
K's Love List
The Man I Desire Has Got To:
- Love, honor and have a relationship with God
- Love, respect and support the women in his life
- Have a stable career
- Manage his money responsibly
- Love music
- Be committed to uplifting the community
- Be secure with himself... his success, his failures, his shortcomings
- Want children or take care of the children he already has
- Be mentally stable with a normal dose of psychosis (hey, we're all crazy at some point in our lives!)
- Honest, open and expressive communicator
If you wanna check out a love list supreme, check out Lovebabz's Love List
If you wanna know just How "Magic" Lists Work
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
I reminiscence over my 10 month journey...
When I let my guard down to reveal my my softer side in Love Is Stronger Than Pride, Me & You and Dedicated to My Mom.
When I aspire and inquire to grow and learn more about Me, A New Me.
When I have to check my wandering eye and sometimes my wandering emotions and I realize I have something Bedda At Home.
Music Is My... lifeline while I'm at work. My relaxation on the traumatic train ride to work. My motivation while I'm cleaning the house and after I get up, read my bible and pray, I have to turn my gospel music on.
My fiction work... yes it's only fiction but it felt so good typing it, The Morning After.
Monday, June 9, 2008
So glad that I....
- Stayed inside my office building where it's 58 degrees all year around (to preserve the books that are processed and cataloged here)
- Switched to anti-perspirant deodorant rather than the natural products I normally use
- Sweating profusely
- Checking & rechecking my arm pits
I was reading a post from a fellow blogger, Kay C, The Quietstorm, and I am reminded that relationships are not supposed to be hard... I could expound on this but I'll save it for another post...
I don't know when I started working harder on the weekends than I do during the week. Tonight I'm vowing to head to bed before 11 pm... Geez!
Now that it has suddenly transformed into summer - I know I had on a jacket just last week - I want to experience something fun and enlightening everyday.
Why is Hillary playing word games? Why did she say she is suspending and not conceding? Hmmm
Tonight is a perfect night to see the Sex And The City movie. Oh my! It starts at 6:20 pm. Guess I'm packing up now and heading to 42nd Street!!!