Thursday, June 26, 2008

Investing... Love List Thursdays

"Oh, you look good to me.... Your silky words are sweet.... But your pockets sure look empty"

I was recently talking to my father and as always he talks about being married to my mother and what occurred between them that prevents them from living under the same roof (they have been married for almost 33 years and separated for half that time). He usually focuses on the negative things but in this conversation he seemed a little upbeat when he spoke about their finances.

My father was the bread winner and he paid the rent, half of the Con Ed, the life insurance and bought the food. My mother paid the phone bill, half of the Con Ed and bought clothes for both me and my brother. Whatever was left over was split between their joint bank accounts and then on themselves. My father never knew what my mother's take home pay was, she never knew his. My mother took care of the home, washed all of our clothes and cooked all of our meals while working a 9 to 5 just like my father. Is that ideal? Not for some but it worked for them.

I don't need to know what someone's take home pay is or what he spends his money on, but I do want to know HOW he manages... if his bills are paid, if he was a checking and/or savings account, if he has direct deposit or if he's waiting outside the check cashing spot until 12:01 a.m.

I've had my share of stingy brothas even a brotha or two who laid up unemployed while I toiled and he looked to me for damn near everything including hair cut money. I'm so glad for a mother who got in my butt for being young and dumb and I'm certainly glad for lessons learned.

"`Cause nothin' from nothin' leaves nothin'... You got to have somethin' if you wanna be with me... `Cause life is too serious, love's too mysterious.... A fly girl like me needs security"

If a man is going to be with me, he's going to have to spend some money on me. The thing is I'm a really simple woman. I like little things and I am financially sound so I'm not looking for someone to help me out of any bind, but as Mary sang in "Feel Like A Woman"....

"If you're on your way home, stop and buy me something, ohh.
Boy, buy me a bag.
Or buy me some shoes.
This is a part of me I'm tryna get you used to, ohh.
Boy, buy me diamonds.
Buy me pearls.
Buy me this.
Buy me that.
Make me fall deeper in love with you.
I'm tired of screaming independent.
I wanna start depending on you."

And it's not about being a gold digger, it's not about being taken care of, it's really about investing time and money into a relationship.

I like this article I found... Investing In Relationships
Another blog post on investing in relationships... If A Man Loves You, He'll Spend Money on You

K's Love List
21. Has a healthy relationship with money and all financial matters
22. Must have a checking and savings account
23. Has a life insurance policy
24. Doesn't mind treating me to something nice every now and again and especially on special days (birthdays & holidays...)
25. Generous but cautious in his spending
26. Knows how to creatively date me
27. Won't take me, my time or my "investments" for granted
28. Physically healthy and takes very good care of himself
29. Passionate about living
30. Welcomes his role of being the Head

If you want to check out a love list supreme, check out Lovebabz's Love List

If you want to know just How "Magic" Lists Work


ChezNiki said...

"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"

I hear you. Not Golddigging, just wanna be "treasured."


The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

I got to get this out of the way. Mary's Feel like a Woman. Here I go.
feel like a woman Yeah.
The part toward the end. That is my part. I have to watch myself listening to it on the bus cause, I will sing out. . .yeah.

Anyway . . .
I like this post. No more broke brothers, no more I am spending more on you than you spend on me brothers.
No more every date is a cheap date brothers.
This list could go on.
Only responsible men with jobs need to apply for position of being my man.

MsKnowitAll said...

Hey Chez... exactly lady... I like the word "treasured".

Queen AKA Sharon... so glad you feel me sister.

I think if we (women & men) set our standards higher, we will attract exactly what we want. Low standards,low attractions.

I like the word "treasure" - treasure me like you treasure the nintendo wii, like you treasure the blackberry curve, like you treasure your mother, your granny, your auntie, your sister, your daughter...

Eb the Celeb said...

Thanks for this... I may have to do my own love list

Ticia said...

I really love your lists - they are exactly what I think