Monday, June 16, 2008

Blasts From The Past

The emergence of springtime for me is always marked by someone in my past coming back into my life. It happens every year... cycles.

Last year I restarted speaking to one of my coworkers who I used to date.
There was my college crush... this fine behind Chinese-Jamaican dude.
There was another guy who I had some unresolved, unexplored moments with.
And the last was one of my high school crushes.

This year I've bumped into Mr. Camacho as I posted last week. He was my junior high school boyfriend. Before him I bumped into and rekindled a friendship with another guy from my past. And last night I saw another one of my past loves, RG. He was someone I met when I was in high school. We were only together for a couple of months but our friendship lasted for about 3 years after we broke up. Time has not changed him much. He still looks 15 and he's still very much fit.

I wonder if there is going to be any more blasts or just these three. Last year was a doozy with my emotions and so far this year is going well. Somehow I know it has everything to do with me and my growth, how I'm handling the reappearance of these men in my life and not so much the fact that they are coming through.

I know that when experiences happen over and over it is because we are supposed to learn something from it. When we don't learn, we are bound to have repeat experiences. This year I'm not so much concerned with the why I'm seeing an old friend/boyfriend but with the what.

What am I to learn from them?
What am I to learn about myself?

However I know that even if nothing profound comes about, no great revelation or life changing occurrence... there is no such thing as coincidence. I think I'll take this cue to do some digging and further cleaning of my mental and now my emotional. Perhaps I'm holding onto some baggage. I can't imagine what right now but it's not far-fetched. Makes me think of that "reason, season, lifetime" email that used to circulate.

Reason, Season and Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are. They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway); and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
© Copyright Brian A. Drew Chalker


The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

I must be selfish. I don't want to remain friends with anyone I have had a relationship with. Especially, if the guy rejected me and I still liked him. Not that you wrote that but, I was just saying.

MsKnowitAll said...

You're probably not selfish, just thoroughly thru when you're thru.
I'm like that as well and anyone who has dated me seriously knows that there is no coming back when the break-up is final.

The thing is I didn't date any of these guys seriously. The co-worker, I liked him a lot and I still do, probably always will but I accepted his decisions and I know how he feels about me so I'm cool.

See now, I'm about to write another post!

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

lol. Sorry. That is it once I end it. There is no point to friendship if I wanted him around I still be with him.
Reject me. . tell me I think we should be friends...and he knows I am still crazy about him. That is it. I can not be around someone as a friend if I want him.

Dating coworkers. I tried it once. When I first became single again. Big mistake plus he was young. Having to deal with his jealousy when I talked to other coworkers. Or other coworkers being in our business. Uugghh. Never again. I had to end that and find a new job.

MsKnowitAll said...

That was the last co-worker I dated and he even left the job after our break-up but came back and when he came back, so did the feelings.

I agree, it is hard to simply be friends after & at times it's best to go separate ways and sever all ties.