Saturday, June 7, 2008

The Other Woman - Know Your Role

As I've posted in the past, I've been the other woman. I am not proud of it. I don't wave "the other woman" flag. But I acknowledge the experience and chalk it up to a life lesson. Things happen when you are young and in search for love in all of the wrong places. Things happen when you're older in search for love in all of the wrong places. I am not an advocate for extramarital affairs. I have seen the ugly of cheating and I've felt the emptiness.

I have a co-worker who I truly feel for. She is the other woman and everybody at work knows it. I would love to hold her hand and let her know what being the other woman entails but her eyes and heart and not open to that just yet. I don't judge her because I was once her.... well I never slept with a subordinate but I've had a love affair on the job that didn't work out and I see him everyday... and I said too darn much! In any case... here are the rules...

Rules For Being The Other Woman

You will never be first... he has a wife or girlfriend, perhaps a child, or plural, children. Accept that you're a jump off, a good lay, a distraction and move on.

You will never spend Valentine's Day, Christmas, New Year's Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Labor Day or his birthday with him. You might see him for snippets of a moment but sun up to sundown, nope and his phone is liable to be turned off too so no texts to read.

You're not his woman so expect him to check out other women... that's right, he's most likely on the prowl - he's got his wife/girlfriend, you and a third or fourth woman.

If you get pregnant, expect to go through it alone... sex, any kind of way he wants it, maybe some conversation, a little understanding, no nagging and no babies - children are hardly part of the deal. Unprotected sex doesn't just happen and unplanned pregnancies can be avoided. It's wise to protect yourself from diseases and unnecessary heartache.

Expect to be chased and dropped... if he's on the hunt, you are or will be his prey and after he's done with ya, he's gonna drop ya and move on the next victim.

Love is not an excuse for an affair... if you love him, I hope you love yourself even more. Love yourself enough to be faithful to your own husband/boyfriend (if you have one) and love him enough to encourage him to remain faithful to his significant other.


Monique said...

I too have been the other woman and know how difficult it can be. Trust me, I don't judge anyone in those shoes but do let them know the soles eventually fall out. Everything that glitters aint gold and certainly doesn't last...

MsKnowitAll said...

Hey Monique!

Love your comment and I like the way you put it...

"I don't judge anyone in those shoes but do let them know the soles eventually fall out.