Thursday, June 5, 2008

** Turn Offs * Turn Ons **

I have a high tolerance for pain. And when I say that I mean that I'm thick skinned when it comes to comments someone may make about me and anything in general. I can take a smart remark, an unjustified statement and even an insult. But even those with high tolerance have a limit and I have my limits.

I love the book series "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff", especially the book particularly for women. It's focus is to help women not to take life so seriously but to allow stressful situations and experiences to wane while you center yourself or concentrate on the "bigger picture".

However, something must be done after I've swept the small stuff under the rug a number of times and the crap is simply piling up! It's a good thing I like to clean and I don't mind scrubbing to reveal a shine. I especially loooooove cleaning my "emotional" house and purging the crappy people...

Ok, ok, ok, so some dude done got up under my skin and he's turned me off in a major way. The red flags were there from our first conversation but I didn't see it. When someone mentions "baggage" in a relationship, I think people naturally think it's a woman with her backpack on but this dude was wounded when I met him and every conversation that we have had in a 2 week period let's me know he's in need of a healing. I feel for him, I do. Apparently I'm going to have to feel for him from a distance because I've had all that I can stand and I can't stands no more!

So here's my list of some of turn offs and my turn ons... Unfortunately new turn ons are not added daily, however turn offs? A new one is added everyday.

Turn Offs

*High maintenance... pretty dudes, looking in the mirror, hair brushing like Joe Torry in Poetic Justice dudes, got time for nail (finger & toe) appointments but can't keep dates...

*Making arrogant assumptions... or stereotypes. "See you're the type of woman..." comments.

*Rude behavior... especially out in public and for no reason should a man be looking at another woman's behind while I'm around. He is free to look when he's alone or with other dudes but he better have some respect around me!

*Bragging about a salary... let me see how a man manages his dough. That's proof that he's stable and responsible.

*Talking about sex... I say don't talk about it at all. When the time comes, be about it! And then let me be the one to tell you how good it is or where you need improvements.

*Questioning me like dude's conducting an interview... all questions will be answered in time. Instead a dude who does this comes across as pushy and just plain ole nosey - turn off!

Turn Ons

*A man who has a relationship with God... could be Jehovah or Allah but a spiritual connection and devotion.
*A take charge man... pays the bill for the first date, opens doors and allows the woman to go through first.

*A man who holds his own... cooks his own meals, pays his own bills (in his own name), successful in his own right, and he must a loving relationship with his family, especially his female relatives.

*A man with the gift of gab... reasonable flirtatiousness but knows just what to say to get the juices flowing, making you feel like his center and the only woman who holds his attention.

*A man who can dance... I think that one speaks for itself...

*A man with intellect and a great sense of humor... if I'm not laughing or smiling, there is definitely a problem. He doesn't have to have a PhD but a man who reads, who studies and has interests other than sports, liquor, cars & women...

*A man who listens as much as he speaks... this one speaks for itself as well - I mean who wants a loud mouth man who barely listens to anyone, including himself!

*A man who isn't afraid to communicate... whether it be his dislikes or his emotions. A man who is comfortable and confident enough to convey how he really feels is simply striking! Ok, if he's to shy to say, write it - just get the message out and send it on to me....

***Earn My Affections ~ Amel Larrieux


Eb the Celeb said...

I agree with all your turn offs and ons...

Ticia said...

I had a high maintenance dude - he was the worse - he was sooo picking abt small things - HE had to go -

I don't like men that talk abt sex - turn off - Just do it!

Divine Perception said...

A turn off is a man that thinks he's a man by telling how strong of a person he is, be it physically, or emotionally. Let me be the one to put u on a pedistal, let me see by others actions when u step in the room just how much of a man u are.

I also agree with the turn off/ons you mentioned.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

I agree with your turn offs and on. And with Ms.Divine.

I have others I could add but, this could be a long comment about my problem with men.
And everytime I think I know what I don't want in a man. Some male comes along and shows me I missed one.

MsKnowitAll said...

Eb... thanks muchas homie!

Ticia... aren't high maintenance men too darn much! You gotta wait on him while he's rechecking himself in the mirror! UGH! LOL

Divine... I think I know exactly what you are talking about - lol. I agree with you wholeheartedly!

Queen Sharon... girl you can leave as long a comment as you want! And I know exactly what you are talking about, they never cease to amaze you in the turn off area.

Ladies... I hope you all have a good weekend!

Lovebabz said...

Go Sister!
You know I started and completed my love list for this very I will have a clearer picture of what I like and don't like! What I want and don't want!

You are on the right track!

MsKnowitAll said...

Lovebabz... you know I love your love list and I started one too... The thing is I create lists all of the time and never go back to them. Thanks for the encouragement to creating that very important side of me.

Liryc said...

Preach girl, preach!! I have told you on many occasions that you and I are twins that have been seperated at birth. We share a lot of the same likes and dislikes. I value what you have written and I feel that I am the same way. Many of these young men out here these days do not know how to conduct themselves accordingly, nor do they possess any real spiritual relationship. It is hard to find the right type of guy to suite me. Look what happened with Ivory. Stepping outside the box, almost got me stepped outside the box. Keep it up, love your posts.