Thursday, June 19, 2008

Telling The Truth... Love List Thursdays

A few years ago, I had the privilege and experience to hear Alice Walker speak here at the Library. She spoke of the upcoming The Color Purple play, the book as well as her other works and poetry. The entire audience was enthralled. My best girlfriend DC came down here for the event and when we bought 2 books, The Color Purple and Temple of My Familiar that she autographed. When we were in line to have our books autographed DC asked her "How is it that you're able to tell your truth without inhibition?". I was thinking the same thing because with ease and with grace, Alice Walker spoke of molestation, of physical abuse, abortion and her family dysfunctions... Ms. Walker replied to us and everyone around us, "Because it is much too painful to tell a lie".

It's not easy to tell the truth. It's not easy to bare your soul and I'm not speaking of telling the truth to a loved one or someone close yet that is difficult as well, I'm speaking of peeling the layers and seeing, telling, reveling in your own truth.

A friend of mine is dealing with a woman who felt comfortable enough with him to tell her truth. She told him her story to put her cards on the table, to make all things clear so that they could grow together. After she finished her story, he left her and ended their involvement. Her truth was much too much for him to withstand. However, those are the breaks for revealing your truth to others. They may accept it and love you anyhow or they may break out because... the truth is heavy, the truth is real, the truth is sometimes just too much to deal with.

For the individual... the same actually applies. The truth is sometimes too much and so we choose not to deal. We pull the cover up over our heads, we sweep the truth under the rug and hope that it disappears. But the truth is ever-present even if you close your eyes to it. Sometimes the truth is miserable. Sometimes just holding it in will make you ill. Sometimes by letting it out you will hurt someone's feelings. You will have to reposition your life and release some things. Please know that the truth will liberate you from some burdens.

You may be nervous, afraid, anxious, depressed. You may not be every woman. You may not be on top of the world. You may think you're great and wonderful but you hide it from others and negative self-talk yourself. You may be inspired, angry, loving or motivated but when you reveal your truth to yourself through your experiences, you give validity to them and find the ability to right the wrongs, correct your mistakes and seek successes for your downfalls.

My everyday quest is to live life to the fullest and to be true to myself....

K's Love List

11. A man who I can trust and share my past, my failures and my joys with
12. A man who knows how to lead and isn't afraid to be the head
13. A man who shies away from asking a woman for money
14. A man who knows that I love Sex & The City, Friends, Girlfriends, The Food Network, Grey's Anatomy, The L Word, Ugly Betty, musicals, good books, good wine, yoga and leaves me alone when I want to indulge
15. A man who is comfortable enough with himself to share his innermost secrets
16. A man who is well-versed in literature, religion and politics
17. A man who shares my love of music, literature, social scenes, movies
18. A man who has a positive attitude about himself and about life in general
19. A man who I can physically and emotionally rely upon (if need be) - I want to be able to seek him first and not my daddy to fix things or my girlfriends for support...
20. A man who knows that I am an observer and a lover of beautiful things yet secure and knows that he's the only one that I want

If you wanna check out a love list supreme, check out Lovebabz's Love List

If you wanna know just How "Magic" Lists Work


Monique said...

K, this post reallytouched me and moved me. I had to forward to a girlfriend because we recently had a discussion about peeling back those layers and truly living in your truth. Thank you for the self-reflection.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

For years I wanted to keep a diary or journal. I couldn't cause I didn't want to write what I was going through in it. Funny thing I thought I could maybe just write what I wanted to believe my life was like.
I couldn't do it. If I wrote a lie about my day, I had to rip the page out and throw it way. Then, I would scrap the diary idea all together.

And when people ask me about myself I want to lie and make my life seem wonderful. I couldn't do it. Since, I didn't want to share I just say I have nothing to tell.

I have learned that accepting the truth and sharing the truth is good for the soul.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Great post. I agree with it on so many different levels.

Amazing how your love list is exactly like mine. Working through a difficult dissolution of a marriage, I was told to think about and write down what went wrong and what I would look for in a potential mate. (Like I really need another man right now)

I kept reading your list shaking my head and saying "yep, yep, yep".

We are very similar.

Ticia said...

Oh... good ish -
I like that list - I totally agree-

I feel bad for your friend - however, you have to guard your heart and make the best choices in telling your business

Ticia said...

I had to come back and read that list :)

MsKnowitAll said...

Monique... thank you. I'm so glad this post touched you.

Sharon... I do the same thing, not necessarily lie but I put a twist on my life and my situations, I just twist it to the positive side and leave it there.

Kay C... hola! I knew from your Prince post that we were connected - LOL. It's good to know I have someone similar to me in this blogosphere.

Ticia... welcome back homegirl! Guarding your heart is essential. I like that.