Monday, May 17, 2010

beat your own damn kids!

i have no children but i love them to pieces... and if by chance i become impregnated, i would be too-too happy. at this moment, however, i am childless.  i like to think that i'm "good" with children, meaning that i am approachable and easy to talk to about school, home life, esteem issues, relationships, and sex... my youth at church usually open up to me about these things.  and i even let them question me about my life and i answer them honestly.  they want to know if their experiences are unique to just them... and we all know that today's issues are not so unique... so i have no problem sharing.  my church youth know i have their back. i want what's best for them and even when i'm hard on them, they know that i do it in love.

i chose the title of this post because recently two of my friends have asked me to speak to their children and even discipline them about issues that i feel is beyond me as a non-parent.

their daughters don't live with me... i'm not the one who bought the short shorts, the wife-beaters, the hipster pants, the g-strings, the provocative shirts nor the make-up... so why should i be the one to tell them to clean up their image?

they didn't do or say anything to hurt me... i'm not the one who allows them to leave for the party at 11:00 pm and then turn around at get mad at them at 2:01 am when they don't turn the key in the lock... so why should i be the one to discipline them about how a proper young lady respects herself?

the last time i checked the legal drinking age is 21... yet you allow them to have a coupla drinks in the house, right?  but then you get upset with them when somebody else notices that your underage daughter is pissy drunk and throwing up and the pictures are all over facebook...

now one of the daughters i am talking about has even begun to talk back to, rip and run the streets all times of day and night and even curse at her parents... if the mother allows this to go down, then why is my cell phone ringing with this child's sweet voice on the other end telling me her mom wants her to talk to me?

i have personally laid my hands on plenty of children.  i truly have no problem popping, choking them, or my personally fave, collaring them.  i have reprimanded them when i felt their behavior was out of line.  children have been sent to me with bad report cards and i have echoed their parent's reactions... the emphasis is on echoing the parents... meaning that me and their mamas think along the same line... meaning that mom has already gotten in that behind and if i should say something it would only be so that the child has a "village experience". but when you turn a blind eye to their behavior or worse... you're afraid of being thrown in jail because your daughter thinks she's bigger and badder than you but you pay the bills, cook the food and put her ass through school, i say you rear your hand back... way back... and beat your own damn kid! 


25champ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
25champ said...

I couldn't agree wit u more. I have daughters I don't play spanking them. I treat the with the respect and command it so that they will know how 2 give it and recieve it. When I comes to slapping fire out that a** I have no problems. I try to make it easy 4 them to talk to me. I'm not a shot gun daddy. I believe in teaching morals and believing that they recieved my message, but If I've got to cock back lol then I have no problems. Good Read!

Luv said...

trust me...if my child ever calls you it is going to be his plea for somebody..anybody to get me up off of him... i beats mine and those around me..but it's all out of love..

now i don't abuse them by no means...not a fan of abuse

Mizrepresent said...

I was laughing at first, then realized girl for another parent to shove their responsibility on you is so wrong. I am a bit flabbergasted by it all really. I know they appreciate you and how you are able to communicate where they can't but this is just not right. It seems you are a great counselor but in no way does that mean they should rely on you to do what they should have been doing all along.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Been there, done that. I don't have children either but get calls about 'talking to' other people's children because they 'listen to me' or they 'talk to me.'

I agree so much with what you said. My response one time was if maybe they showed their child by example they would listen to them as well - didn't go over so well.

Always wondered why people pamper their children only to complain later what a pampered princess or spoiled brat they have think?

MsKnowitAll said...

Champ... sounds like you're a great dad... spare the rod! lol @ slapping fire out of their a$$e$... i'm with you, especially when it comes to treating them with respect so they'll know how to give it and receive it... particularly from the primary male in their lives.

Luv... i feel you completely & there is a difference between abuse (i.e. lit cigarettes & extension cords) and a solid whap... done in love. :-D

Miz... i felt honored at first and when i relay the crazy stories, i am sometimes laughing too. but then when i realized that it would be the mother who gets off while i become the one they resent... like i told these women, it's ok to discipline their own daughters. one of my friends even told me that she feels i don't beat her daughter like i should... we laughed about it but seriously... am i supposed to beat her daughter like i birthed her?

kay c... i think me and you do some mental talking because one of these daughters is overly pampered. i mean that girl is just spoiled and she's the rottenest one of the bunch! she's a sweetie though. a good student, respectful to others but girl is she putting her mother through!

i have nothing to say to this daughter. not a word. her mother will either discipline her or allow her daughter to run her house. smh... that's completely on her.

GC (God's Child) said...

the middle part says it all. . .we are to be in the world but not of the world and we have so forgotten that. . .this teenager's behavior is a living picture of what her parents are really teaching her is okay!
They need to change themselves if they expect her to change

MsKnowitAll said...

GC... Thank you lady and yes we are to be in the world, not of the world and believe me, materialism has so much to do with the problems these mothers have with these daughters.