Monday, May 3, 2010

random words i type...

she sought me out in a dark crowded club. i saw her when i first walked in, one of the 1st people i recognized and she made her way over to me.  it's been 17 years since high school graduation, this is our 2nd reunion made possible by way of facebook and it was good to hook up with old peeps.

she made her way through the crowd of people who were hugging, kissing, squealing "how are you", "you look great", "you look the same"... however when she turns to me she says... "do you still work in midtown?".  "no", i reply, "my unit has moved out to queens"... wow i thought, she must be asking because we used to work so close to each other. we made plans for lunch the last time we saw each other, exchanged business cards and all that.  she then says, "oh i figured that because there's no way you can get away with working in midtown with that hair."

???

my natural, coarse and wild hair?  i had no idea that midtown manhattan, which is the area between 14th and 59th streets, about 5 square miles, had stipulations on which state my hair or anyone's hair should be in. i can't even imagine midtown being some kind of entity that would frown upon and possibly banish me from entering unless my hair was somewhat more... acceptable?

i am not even fazed by this comment nor am i surprised.  this old schoolmate has always seemingly had this black may be beautiful but it's not always right mentally.  it has been a whole 366 days since i made the decision and cut my relaxed hair off.  i went from having 12 inches of relaxed hair...

to having 3 inches of natural hair...

and i have no regrets.  in fact, i could not be happier.

i could have been offended by her comment but i am not. in fact, i am flattered. i love that my hair grows out and up, defying gravity.  i like not having to put up an umbrella when it rains, knowing that my scalp will remain dry.  i enjoy not worrying about wrapping my hair every night and i am excited to work in a field where natural is acceptable - my director rocks a caesar, my supervisor has locs, and almost every woman of color in my worksite proudly flaunts their naturalness.

my facebook inbox is full of messages from friends and friends of friends who ask me when, how and why i cut off my hair and my daily regimen.  i receive compliments especially from people who never would have guessed that i would cut off my treasured relaxed hair, and as blog sister kay c wrote once on her blog, i receive lots of hands in my hair, especially from male acquaintances.

so now that the reunion is over and everyone is posting pics... i have this feeling that one of the messages in my inbox this week will be from this very woman... except this time she won't be asking something like, "girl, how they let you go to work like that" but more like... "i've been dying to do the very same thing... tell me how you made it happen".

12 comments:

Monique said...

^5 for natural hair. It's been a month since I cut my permed hair off and honey you can only imagine the questions I get. Like you, I work in an office were natural hair is embraced and I love that. ARe people still that closed minded about the acceptable of natural hair in the workplace? *smh* we need to do better.

The True Urban Queen said...

I was offended by her comment. What kind of mess was that?

I don't care how people wear their hair, natural, weave, perm. . .your hair your right.

Except if it is a man over 30 trying to holler at me with braids in his head. . .can't go there.

MsKnowitAll said...

LOL @ Queen... Hello Lady! I miss you! I agree... a man over 30 with braids needs clippers. The thing is, I've been working in Queens for only 4 months, I was natural in Midtown for 8 months... so my guess is she was drinking heavy before I arrived.

Hey Mo! Congratulations on your cut. I can imagine the questions you get. I still have "friends" who tell me about some new perm they found that's not harsh on the hair. I love my naturalness and I'm sticking to my decision. Should I change up, then I will, but until then, I'm loving my do.

Luv said...

that is funny..i cut my hair 2 months ago and i am loving it..but the day i cut it my aunt asked if i needed to go into rehab or needed an intervention..it has been so freeing for my soul.

MsKnowitAll said...

hey luv! congrats on freeing your soul! i know the feeling. i cut my hair myself... as an unlicensed hair doer (LOL), that's what i do! i have found in the past 12 months i have been more open, freer too. it's beautiful.

25champ said...

I luv it u luv and most people wish they could pull it off. Good Read!

Don said...

I like your hair then and now. My lady has sided with natural hair and I, for the reasons you mentioned, see why she decided to undergo a more natural process.

I understand why you were hardly fazed by the comment.

MsKnowitAll said...

Thanks Champ! i'm grateful that i can pull off my natural. i will admit i was a little nervous about how far i could take this...

Don... thank you! i like both of my looks too and sometimes I miss the straight me... but another confession... as long and healthy as my hair appeared to be, i was covering up a lot of damage. so the natural me was ready to shed that and emerge. i will ride this out and if i choose to change, then i'll do that too.

Mizrepresent said...

Good for you Girl! Well, i have been growing out my permed hair for 6 months now...and i am loving it's natural, wavy, curly, nappy, crimpy thickness. I find myself always touch and unraveling the curls, marveling at the texture and strength. No big cut yet, bc my hair just isn't growing at the same rate all over my head, lol. Go figure, but by October, i will be ready to unveil my total natural do! I loved my straight hair too, but damaged straight hair is just not a good look!

MsKnowitAll said...

I'm so late... Thanks Miz! That was me too, damaged tresses and I was doing a lot of covering up. So you're unveiling for your birthday? Awww, you're going to love it! It is liberating.

And I may relax again... but right now I'm enjoying my natural ride.

GC (God's Child) said...

maybe you don't mind but I'm thin skinned and would have taken that comment quite personally. . . in fact I admit I have allowed myself to be thwarted in my ambitions to go natural
shame on her and everyone else who perpetuates the double standard

MsKnowitAll said...

i hear you GC and though i can be thin skinned too at times, i am becoming unaffected by the feelings and opinions of others. i just have a "i do what i want & i'm happy even if you ain't" attitude.

once i decided to grow out my hair, the deal was done. but i will admit the fear i had when i had about 2 inches of virgin hair and my relaxed hair was getting weaker. that first bout of virgin hair was offensive to my finger tips! if i ever doubted my african roots, i couldn't with that hair texture.