Friday, November 4, 2011

My Name Is...

When starting this blog four years ago I wanted to remain as anonymous as I could. Then came Facebook and Twitter and since I use my real first name for both of those accounts, I figured I might as well change it here too.

I've been wanting to change from Ms.KnowitAll (I also used Ms.KiA) for a while now. That was a nickname my ex used to call me and well me and my ex broke up long ago. I enjoyed my time using the pseudonym and now it's time to use Kel or for the sake of this blog Just Kel...

My full first name is Kelley.

I struggled with "Kelley" when I was younger. I grew up with Tamikas, Shaniquas, Keishas, Tashas, and Tanyas... and I wanted one of those names too. I had to be about seven years old when I told my mother I wanted a name change... Ok so what really happened was my brother was eighteen and he asked my mother if he could change his name and she said yes. I figured I could ask and she'd say yes to me. She didn't. If I could have changed my name it would have been Barbara, Diana, Tina because to me, those are sexy names.

My mom didn't choose Kelley because she researched the meaning or because it flowed so nicely with my last name. She chose my name because my aunt knew a woman who knew another woman and she had a niece named Kelly and my mom wanted to name me something "different". Plus my brother's name began with a K and my mother wanted to keep to her trend.

My first name tends to fool people. I know that both, my first and last names are Irish and English respectively. I just recently I met a colleague I had been communicating with via email. As we shook hands, he said Oh you're Kelley. it's nice to put a name with a face, I've seen you before but I never you were a Kelley. I really wanted to ask Did you think I was an Aisha? But I didn't of course because I'm not a nut and my perception could have been off.

A few years back when I looked up the meaning of my name. It was then that I embraced it fully.

"From the Irish Gaelic name Kelly, Warrior Woman, is bold and daring in all she does; someone who makes every minute count; has a classic strength and beauty; compassionate and patient with others; someone who is held in high esteem; a smile like a beam of light at night; a woman who is proud of her old-fashioned ideas; an individual who is very adventurous."

"Kelly — from the Gaelic word for "warrior woman"; "farm by the spring". At an ancient shrine of the goddess Brigit at Kildare, there were sacred priestesses and warrior women called kelles, and its possible the name and surname came from them."

So I've come to learn and accept my warriorism... my courage and even my aggressiveness. I am a warrior while defending and protecting the people and the things I love. I was a warrior when I endured abuse, rejection, all types of hurt and life's side swipes. I'm sure that given the choice, a lot of us would not have chosen our names - a side of me would still choose Barbara, Diana, Tina and even Sheila - but just as a middle name or even a nickname. While I still find them to be sexy names, Kelley is the name my mama chose and it fits me just fine.


Lovebabz said...

...Barbara that's me...for real.

I love Babz. LoveBabz. I added Babz legally to my name.

The name you have is divinely appointed. Own it.

I liked this very thought provoking post.

Moanerplicity said...

Interesting. When I was 16, all the kids were losing their virginity & /or changing their names. I was right there in duh mix, copped a book of Arabic/Islamic names & thus renamed myself something I felt was much more fitting to my individual personality.

Later that year (still 16), I also lost my virginity. Thought I was the ish! The world wasn't ready for me. Or maybe I wasn't quite ready for the world.

My point is: Maybe we grow into ourselves, our sexuality, and our names at a time our personal journey assigns for us.

Worth pondering, right?


Newy said...

Ahhh from Kia to Kel...I like that.

Good to see you are still in the blog-o-verse.

MrsNewy...Yep girl I dun got murried. LOL

Just Kel said...

Hello Barbara... very nice to meet you! Thank you Sis... I wear my name like a tattoo.

@Moanerplicity... I remember when a few of my friends went from names like John & Paul to Ali & Hasaan - they went from walking to bopping - developed what we now call swag. Yes when the time is right or ripe... we grow. ;-)

MRSNEWY!!! Congratulations to You!
So glad you visited and left me a comment! I have to venture over to you to see the details.

Don said...

Well, I can't say that I found an inspiring definition as far as the meaning of Donald.

But I can say that I eventually grew comfortable with the name even though I once stated to moms that it was a "white boy name."

I pretty much am referred to as Don, now, so it's cool.

I'd never known a woman named "Kelly" besides Charlie's Angels and Kelly Rowland.

Kelley is a cute name though. Hardly understand why it didn't always agree with you.

kraizeewhiz said...

If you have got a name "ologundudu" like mine- would you be proud of it? #justsaying, but i'm proud of it from kia to kel , i like that

Diedra B said...

Happy holidays Kelley

Anon. said...

I am new to blogging and just stumbled across this.. this entry was obviously the firs I read and I felt I could relate seeing as I want to remain as anonymous as possible. I hope one day I can have the courage to be as honest as I am with strangers with the people I know.
:) good on you for doing it.

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