But lately I've been hearing voices...
The other day me and my co-worker decided we wanted fish for lunch. Mc.Donald's filet-o-fish just wasn't gonna cut it so we decided to venture a few blocks over and take some extra lunch time and have some fish ala R.uby T.uesdays. De-li-cious! I was pleased me with my lunch selection and so was she. I got what I wanted, when I wanted it, exactly how I wanted it.
But not everything that I want is so easily within my reach. If all I had to do was make a little time and spend the money for what I wanted, I'd be one happy woman.
Having what I want, when I want it, in the shape and function that I want it in and not being able to have it is frustrating... fresh tears have been spilling forth from my eyes and a heavy desire has been rising in my chest. I can visualize my dreams, precisely as I want them, yet they are out of my grasp.
I have been retracking my life, thinking perhaps I missed my opportunity to have what I want, maybe I need to redirect my focus, but that's extremely hard because I have this longing in my heart. The other night I sighed heavily. I shook my head in irritation and decided to go to bed early... well earlier than my normal 1 am bedtime. I had a lot on my mind and it tired me.
Today I was in a mall shopping with a friend. I can't recall the isle or the section of the store I was in when I heard the voice. I can't even remember what I was thinking about at the moment. All I know is I looked behind me because for a second I didn't realize that the voice wasn't from behind me but rose from within me.
The voice said one word to me and that one word quieted my disturbance and gave me a newfound commitment to having what I so profoundly want.
Patience doesn't mean procrastination. Patience does not mean pause. Patience goes along with perseverance and persistence. I am motivated and rejuvenated to continue my quest of catching my dreams.
I'm not crazy! Oh I'm sure at times I suffer from some sort of psychosis, however at that moment that "patience" rang within my ears, I was completely and totally sane... and continue to be.