Friday, August 14, 2009

Hearing Voices

Don't laugh and please don't look for the NYC mobile crisis number... I'm okay!
But lately I've been hearing voices...

The other day me and my co-worker decided we wanted fish for lunch. Mc.Donald's filet-o-fish just wasn't gonna cut it so we decided to venture a few blocks over and take some extra lunch time and have some fish ala R.uby T.uesdays. De-li-cious! I was pleased me with my lunch selection and so was she. I got what I wanted, when I wanted it, exactly how I wanted it.

But not everything that I want is so easily within my reach. If all I had to do was make a little time and spend the money for what I wanted, I'd be one happy woman.

Having what I want, when I want it, in the shape and function that I want it in and not being able to have it is frustrating... fresh tears have been spilling forth from my eyes and a heavy desire has been rising in my chest. I can visualize my dreams, precisely as I want them, yet they are out of my grasp.

I have been retracking my life, thinking perhaps I missed my opportunity to have what I want, maybe I need to redirect my focus, but that's extremely hard because I have this longing in my heart. The other night I sighed heavily. I shook my head in irritation and decided to go to bed early... well earlier than my normal 1 am bedtime. I had a lot on my mind and it tired me.

Today I was in a mall shopping with a friend. I can't recall the isle or the section of the store I was in when I heard the voice. I can't even remember what I was thinking about at the moment. All I know is I looked behind me because for a second I didn't realize that the voice wasn't from behind me but rose from within me.

The voice said one word to me and that one word quieted my disturbance and gave me a newfound commitment to having what I so profoundly want.

Patience.

Patience doesn't mean procrastination. Patience does not mean pause. Patience goes along with perseverance and persistence. I am motivated and rejuvenated to continue my quest of catching my dreams.

I'm not crazy! Oh I'm sure at times I suffer from some sort of psychosis, however at that moment that "patience" rang within my ears, I was completely and totally sane... and continue to be.

4 comments:

Lovebabz said...

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT CRAZY!

You are open to the divine whipsering. The divine speaks to us all...but so few of us take the time to hear. I am glad you heard and it quieted your being.

((HUGS))

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Agreeing with Lovebabz, you are not crazy. I heard my divine voice talk to me some years ago in a loud and blatant voice and I ignored it. Years later I had to come to terms with the very thing my voice spoke to me.

(((Internet Hugs)))

Insatiable One said...

No ma'am far from crazy. You just had a breakthrough. HE is speaking to you and you need to listen.

MsKnowitAll said...

Thank you Ladies, and I receive all of the hugs, and hug back!