A New Me

Aisha Elderwyn
"Every new year people make resolutions to change aspects of themselves they believe are negative. A majority of people revert back to how they were before and feel like failures. This year I challenge you to a new resolution. I challenge you to just be yourself."

I struggle with this last post of 2007 and I struggle with my New Year's resolution. I still make year end/year beginning resolutions even though I resolve to do things differently in my life almost everyday but it's something about the end of the year. I reflect upon the months that have passed and can only wish for better things ahead. For instance, by the time I remove my winter coats in the Spring of '08, it is my plan to have shed around 20 pounds, hopefully more than that. But just in case, I remove my coat and I put on lighter weight jackets and I haven't lost the poundage as I anticipated, I still want to be all right, feel fabulous and exude confidence.

The quote above appealed to me mostly because I've tried ridding myself of bad spending habits, negative people, unhealthy eating, clearing out my physical spaces and usually by March of the new year, everything I'd hoped to put into practice, is not. Some things have become part of my routine. But this year is different for me. I love me and I just want to be a better me.

By challenging myself to be myself, I want to:

Mean what I say and say what I mean
If I say I'm trying to save money so that I can move from the hood, then I can't do a whole lot of overspending and if I really mean to fit into that smaller size, then I have to dust off the stationary bike and ride.

Be assertive and speak up for myself
This is an issue for me because I'm the baby of my family and during my younger years I was taught to be seen but not heard from my older siblings. Now that I'm older, I still fall into my role as the youngest and fall silent when my older siblings are around. However this creates distress for me because I have so much to say and darn it I want to, strike that, I need to be heard!

Acting Out
Action is thinking and speaking in motion. This upcoming year I want to do things I have not done before. I want to take the vacation that I yearn for. And I want to set limits for other people in my life. I can run myself ragged doing everything for everyone else but I need to carve out some personal time just for me.

Clearing Out
I've yet to clear my closet of all of my cheap shoes that hurt my feet but I also want to clear out those areas of my life where I doubt myself, I self-criticize, and self-deprive. I deserve the best, the best shoes, the best foods and my own time and attention.

Fortunately I love all of the people in my life, or now would be the time that you'd be fired-lol. But really, I am surrounded by friends who give of themselves and I can only hope that I offer my best to each and every one of them. And by friends I mean the ones I see and my blogmates. A list wouldn't be a list if I didn't shout y'all out...

The Immediate Fam
Mommy - As I've grown, she has accepted and loved me and still mothers me. I appreciate everything about her.
MB (My Mate) - You made a promise to me in the beginning of our relationship and through years, the ups and the downs, you've kept your word. I love you, I am devoted to you and as we embark on our third year and approaching anniversary (January 1st), you still amaze me. May we continue to get betterer and betterer.
DC - We may not talk everyday but when we do it's always on time and I love ya!
Boom - You're my oldest friend. All we seem to do lately is email and text but that's okay because I so appreciate you.
CLily - My voice of reason and my constant email friend.
CeCe - You started as my cyber sis but since you like to travel from Cali to NY, we've become actual friends too.

The Co-Workers
Miss-Stress - If I didn't have you to be vulnerable around, I would probably sit at my desk and just cry and that would be stress because I can only tear from one eye-lol. You know me better than most because I can't seem to keep my mouth shut around you but you do and I love you for it because if you told my business, I'd beat you down.
JT - When you visit, you always bring compliments and jokes. You know I love to laugh and so do you. You're the best!
Ms. Liryc - "You're like a cool breeze, on a summer's day" - I know you know where those lyrics come from - lol. You're cool peoples and I luv ya!
FP - You're my friend, my coulda been husband if we met a lifetime ago, you insult me, harass me and just plain get on my nerves with your testosterone driven self!
Virgo - There are no words to describe you - oh wait! - you're complicated and simple at the same time, elusive and observant. Most of all, we are two people who truly sow the seeds of friendship.

The Bloggers
Don - Minus the Bars
Skinny Black Girl
DeepNThought
Honey Libra
Opinionated Diva
Queen of My Castle
Muze

Peace, blessings to each of you, be safe, enjoy the celebrations and may each of you "live each day with zest, daily grow and try to be your highest and your best". HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!