I peruse the gossip websites MediaTakeOut, Bossip and TMZ and they love to hate on Amy Winehouse. I happen to adore her music. When she came out with Rehab, I bought her Back to Black cd and then my co-worker CB put me on to her earlier release Frank. To me… she’s the British, Caucasian version to Mary J., Lauryn Hill. Her voice is raspy and her lyrics are raw.
While I dig her music, it pains me when I see photos of her, drugged and spazzing out. I wonder what is torturing her soul so that she turns to drugs, alcohol and violence for solace.
Even more importantly whenever I see Amy, I think to myself… this could be me. When I see Whitney and Lauryn Hill, I feel the same… what if love-gone-wrong enveloped me and my only outlet was drugs, alcohol or living reclusively? I think of the 1 and ½ times that I tried marijuana… I probably wouldn’t have tried it had it not been for that man lying next to me, holding the blunt between his fingers… and he was the same guy who helped me slip myself a mickey at a party telling me to drink Heineken and Bacardi Limon – TOGETHER. I could be that drugged out, crazed woman searching for her soul. The night that I slipped myself a mickey, I was dazed and passing out. I am thankful for my friend who came in to see about me after he and I wandered into an empty room and I began to throw up while lying on my back. This friend along with her sister and another friend bathed me, washed my hair and took care of me… all of which was unbeknownst to me. At that moment, I was Amy, Whitney, Lauryn, Natalie, Lindsay…
I have so much compassion for these sisters. If I had to walk in their shoes, endure their pains and hurts, and see what their eyes have seen… Well let me tell you… It’s not because my eyes have been secluded from the harshness of life because my eyes have seen, my ears have heard, my heart has felt heaviness… extreme… My heart goes out to Amy. I send positive thoughts her way because I have had my share of battles that no one has known of. She suffers and the world sees. My heart goes out to every woman who suffers the same, only not in the public eye, but it’s a battle of the spirit, just the same.
Natalie Cole made a rather harsh comment about Amy being a bad influence, as if she is free to judge, and the critics and cynics throw negativity her way stating that Amy Winehouse won’t live to see 30… I am a witness to turn arounds. I believe in miracles. In the force of life changes and every woman who reinvented herself, I believe in time Amy too can transform.