Post Valentine's Day Reflections...

This Valentine's Day was a nice one. I surrendered my will and spent a couple of "friendly" hours with my ex who treated me to lunch at my favorite restaurant on City Island, The Lobster House. I am a seafood junkie! and they fry up the best calamari. For the rest of the day and into the evening, I continued with my solitude, read my 455 page book, Lush Life, and rested.

When I first set out to write about Valentine's Day last week, it had a little negative undertone. I was jotting down my bad V-day encounters and loves that turned sour and I really didn't want to entertain the negativity. So I chucked it. Though I believe that negativity has it place when balanced out by positivity, my spirit wasn't settled.

This past Saturday and any and all Valentine's Days, I am pleasantly and lovingly greeted by the wonderful men in my life. Surely my girlfriends sent their love in phone calls and texts and I appreciated them much, however, my brother, KB, sent me beautiful Valentine's Day texts and my father was the first to call and wake me to wish me a great day.

KB is who I call my womb brother. We share the same mother and I have another brother and a sister, my father's children, from another woman. KB was my first daddy since my father was in and out of my life in my beginning months and though we are 11 years apart, he'd let me hang out with him and his buddies.... under duress. At times we allow the 11 year difference to cause a strain but, always, I remember the love we share, the times we've leaned on and supported each other and the amazing memories we have.

My Daddy... our relationship is one I truly treasure. My daddy is a quiet man. Our phone talks last anywhere from 1:30 minutes to about 10 minutes. We keep to the details, share a laugh or two and then the conversation ends. Our face-to-face conversations are much the same. I just appreciate the quiet moments.

Last year I posted Life Lessons I Wish I Learned From My Daddy and what a difference almost 6 months can make! I realize that there are life lessons I had already learned from my Daddy, through his quiet ways, and through my life experiences that compensated for what my Daddy was unable to teach.

Oh the ego... there are times that the ego blinds you from seeing the truth as it is. The ego fastens you to the past and the pain. The ego is binding but love is freeing... and it allows you to see what is and the good through all life's situations.

While I was typing about my daddy not telling or teaching me this or that, he taught me through his quiet ways that his wife and ALL of his children were his first priorities. Our painful past experiences in no way hold a torch to the stellar moments we do have.

When he called and woke me up this Saturday morning, the simpleness of his call reinforced his undying love. Of course it was a quick call but it was filled with warmth and that warmth stayed with me all day. In fact, it is embedded within.

Here is a picture of me and my Daddy from 1980ish. I had to be about 4 or 5 years-old.