Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Restorative Idleness of Solitude


You know, Valentine’s Day can come and go and I wouldn’t blink an eye. I think because of the commercialism of the day, the overly-priced flowers and tacky trinkets, the day has lost its luster for me.
And then
Lovebabz came over here the other day wishing me a Happy Valentine’s Day and one of my on-the-job honeys reminded me that Saturday was V Day… and I got to thinkin’ about…

February 14th is filled with things to get into, mostly for lovers or potential lovers. Much like my friend True Urban Queen, I'm taking that love day and choosing to be a little selfish and give back to me.

These "occasions" are so filled with "I have to... I must... buy this, get that, make it so that this occasion is ultimately the best for so and so". Really, it creates a busyness, a frenzy, that is unnecessary because in essence, when you truly love someone, everyday is an opportunity to give and show just how much.

In my quest to keep my life s-i-m-p-l-e and in the spirit of love, I am giving back to... the spiritual me... the side of me who holds all of me together, keeps me sane, keeps me humble, keeps rooted, grounded... keeps me conscious.

These girlie magazines offer "survival guides" for celebrating love day solo, created for those who feel sorry, lonely and resentful for their singlehood. And some will tell single people to keep busy, visit friends, get out and about, creating another sort of frenzy, a frenzy to avoid being lonely. But I need no survival advice. And I choose to be alone because I know that I am not lonely. It's not about being physically alone but shifting my focus from what could have been, what should be to the present moment, what is.

In My Solitude...

...I need no red or pink colors, Cupid's help is not required. My creator loves me and I love me and even if someone dropped a million dollars at my feet, it simply cannot compare to the love within.

...I feel no anxiety with giving, receiving or worrying about the gift I bought, wondering if it's enough or just right. I share with my loved ones the gifts I have... faithfulness, patience, joy and kindness... and know that it is enough.

...I am not distracted, I am not indulging, or inebriating myself. I am choosing to dream my dreams and live lively. I will go about and do the things that bring me joy on free Saturdays like NOTHING. ~LOL~ A free day is a free day and while I get up and come to work, run for my church and check up on my friends and family routinely, I cannot wait to sit, read, stare in space, sleep... The chocolates will be eaten, the champagne drunk and the flowers will eventually die but I am choosing to invest my time in solitude. Solitude gives back abundantly...

3 comments:

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

1. To me . .Nowadays all holidays are overly commercial. .whether it is Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Christmas.

2. Thank you for joining the club. .lol.

3.Solitude does give abundantly. . it lets you reflect and learn about yourself.

Happy Valentine's Day!!

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

Good for you. I am spending Saturday like you and Sharon. Even when I was in a relationship I often wondered why you should wait until Feb. 14th to show your affection? Every day should be filled with love.

I am enjoying my morning of calm with a good cup of coffee and internet surfing followed by a good book wrapped in my favorite quilt.

My love for myself is what I am getting this year!

MsKnowitAll said...

I hope you ladies had a wonderful Valentine's Day.