I Know My Type...

I seem to attract 3 types of men...
This post idea came to me this morning as I am walking to the train station heading to work. I was about to turn the corner of my block when here he comes...

Now, I am a non-discriminating dater. I do, however, have a preference, the undeniable type that I am attracted to. But a dude who looks like the 2 above, but also gripping the hell out of a beer can, ashen and it's only 9:45 in the morning... not MY choice.

And I know before he even reaches me what he is going to say. Do you have a minute brutiful?, Can I leave you my number ma?, Have a good day gorgeous... I politely smile, tell him to enjoy his day and turn the corner.

Now there is a variant of this type that I also seem to attract... he has the potential to do great things. He's book smart. He finished high school... maybe... but right now? He's unemployed. He lives with his children's mother and also at his grandmama house when wifey is mad at him. He gives me his number on a paper bag and tells me not to call until next week when he adds minutes to his phone...

Once again... not necessarily bad dudes... just not the dudes FOR ME.

Now my 2nd type always makes me shake my head and sigh...

With a one-two glance, I can check a man and see if he has on a wedding band or if he has the tan line around his ring finger from wearing a wedding band... yet that never seems to stop this man from trying to holla. I am not interested in Mr. Married Man Single... I am not interested in being Ms. Sideline and I have no idea what vibes I am giving off but I desire a man of my own... not one I have to share.

And then there's my last type... This is an inside joke among my friends. You see, with my full hips and short stature (making me plus size) I already know I am not everybody's cup of tea... but when it comes to this man...

Oooh oooh Mr. Lover Man... Clive, Garfield, Donovan, Douglas, Elston, Rohan, Everton, Linford... or whatever his name may be... When I come 'round, my friends... (except for CB) don't. stand. a. chance. LOL
Now there is something sensual about a west indian man... I happen to be of west indian descent... and the combination of beautiful teeth, a deep voice and... the accent... is enough to make me swoon.

So... my type...? The ones I see and my heart beats double time...?

It is what it is...

Random Words I Type... Birthday Love...

I bask in the glow of turning 34...

I celebrated my birthday all weekend long... beginning when my friend arrived in town on Friday night... and then on Saturday with my awesome friends...

This was the 1st birthday I've ever had when I planned my very own outing. I usually stay low-key when my birthday comes around. I'll go to the movies, the spa, hang out with a friend or a love but never before have I planned something for me and my friends. When I turned 30, my ex planned my birthday celebration with a couple of close friends. That was nice and intimate... but this time I decided to do something fun, engaging... something I've never done...

Hookah!!!This here is me and my co-worker, my partner in crime, my play sister, play cousin, my ace, CB. See the boobies? It was their birthday celebration too! LOL - do you see the hookah pipe? I would have posted a pic of me and my guy but he insisted that I do not post of pic of him on my blog. Boooo to him. But he's the one who took this pic of us...

For those who don't know hookah is a water-pipe filled with fruit and a mild tobacco. I found this fabulous hookah lounge in the West Village and we passed the pipe with some fresh pineapple. It was wonderful! And to top the night... a belly dancer graced us with a performance... one of my friends let her know that it was my birthday and she called me up to dance... I had to show and prove! LOL


On Sunday, my actual birthday, after going to church, me and my friend enjoyed an intimate seafood dinner at one of my favorite seafood restaurants. "We must have oysters", he told me, "They're aphrodisiacs", he explained... and we dined on raw oysters, clams, fried calamari and red sangria...


I truly enjoyed my birthday and the celebration continues for the entire month of October... this birthday has been so lush, so decadent, and overwhelming. I'm grateful for another year of life. I am grateful for a plethora of blessings. I received numerous cards and gifts from my friends and most of all, I was and still am filled to overflowing with love.

Rest In Peace

Random Words I Type

It's been a while since I posted and a really long while since I've created a random post. So much going on and I haven't taken the time to really blog at work because f.acebook is my current method for getting me through the day and when I get home sitting in front of my computer is not appealing.

*I have been watching a lot of TV lately. I used to not be a big TV watcher... so that means that I haven't been reading any books, I haven't been blogging, I haven't been reading a whole lot of other bloggers, I haven't been active and in a sense I've been out of touch... even with myself :-(

*Summer TV was GREAT! The Closer (even though I didn't care for the season finale), Weeds, Nurse Jackie (hilarious!), HawthoRNe, Leverage and Dark Blue... I cannot forget True Blood. Whew!

*With my birthday (YEAH ME!) approaching in the next 2 1/2weeks I feel this crunch within... I want to celebrate big but then again, I don't want anyone to make a big deal out of my birthday. Just my quirkiness I suppose. I prefer to make all plans and then if people want to drop by and help me celebrate, then great. I know I'll feel differently once October 4th arrives.

*My "friend" is visiting me for my birthday weekend... actually he's going to be spending about 4 days with me and I'm anxious about it. We have not spent 4 consecutive days together. When we visit each other, we always take a day or a few hours off from each other to have for ourselves. Since he's from NY he goes to visit family and I have family in his area so I visit mine. However, this visit will be different...

*I am excited about turning 34. I am excited about my friend visiting me. I am planning something special for us and, in a sense, it makes me happy to plan a surprise for him during my weekend celebration.

*Today... actually yesterday, was the 1st time in 2 years that my supervisor said "thank you". I could have collapsed. It came at such a stressful moment as well as right before I whipped out my flash drive to update my resume.

*Today is one of my best friend's birthday. He doesn't read my blog but I shout out to the universe Happy B'earthday TD!!! I already sent him a text so he got my message.

*I agree with you President Obama, Kanye West is a jackass. LOL I love how Mr. Obama is so opinionated & may this be one comment he doesn't take back, offer a bud light & an apology to smooth over.

Okay, I'm done with the randoms... for now... I'm going to try to stay up and watch Oprah's, part II interview of Whitney... more TV watching... however, this has sparked something in me... I think... more blog posts, more blog posts...

Note From The Universe

It's been a while since I've posted one of these and when this one came through as an email message, it really spoke to my soul and confirmed some things for me. So here goes....


Young souls get angry at others.
Old souls get angry at themselves.
But really wise souls have already turned the page.

Got forever and ever?
The Universe

www.tut.com

Somebody's daughter

I love a little gossip... the surface story... a little headline...

Common & Serena Williams
Halle Berry is expecting again

I could really care less about the details. Celebrity life is no different from yours or mine, it's just on public display. However I came across a story today that disturbed me.

Maia Campbell was a sitcom and music video star in the 90s when she suddenly dropped from the starlight. She wasn't a huge star to be missed by the masses however lately she's making a comeback in the media gossip mainstream.

Footage of Maia, which may or may not be recent, can be found all over the web. She's cursing, slightly incoherent and her appearance is sub-par. You may have heard of her mother , author Elizabeth "Bebe" Moore Campbell who passed away in 2006. She wrote a book back in 2003 titled 72 Hour Hold. I have always speculated that the character in the book, Trina, is really Maia. Trina has bipolar disorder and the book details her mother's struggles to cope with Trina's illness.

The idiot who videoed her, or better put, exploited her, propositioned her for oral sex and laughed at her strange behavior. The bloggers have labeled her as a prostitute, a meth addict, a crackhead. The driver of the car she sat in berated her for causing a scene when it was the exploiter who provoked her. Is she high on drugs? Is she prostituting as the gossip blogs suggest? That's NOT what I saw in the clip.

There is nothing fascinating about that video. It's not entertainment. It's exploitation, plain and simple. I didn't see a crackwhore acting crazy. I saw a young woman who is not well, in need of help.

My prayer is that the video is not recent. My prayer is that Maia is getting help. My prayer is that someone knows and finds the cowards who videoed her.

NOTE from YouTube site:

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T.O.N.Y.

Yesterday as I sat at my desk, at work, listening to Pandora when T.O.N.Y comes on. The song is sung by Solange Knowles off of her Sol-Angel & the Hadley St. Dreams LP. It starts with a niiiiiice beat and then the first line kicks in..

"TO.N.Y don't call no more... "

And like most things, nowadays, I am reminded on my friend... We're actually more than friends but not too heavily invested to give each other titles. But I decided to give him a new nickname...

Tony is not at all like the man Solange sings about... no he's not a one night stand, he's not some random dude, he actually does care about me... my "Tony" just has some T.O.N.Y qualities.

"T.O.N.Y don't call no more"
We actually "speak" daily and it may be in the form of an instant message or an email or via telephone but I prefer to hear his voice, his laughter (not LOL) and I want him to hear me...

"T.O.N.Y don't care no more"
Well see Tony lives a billion miles away, which is why speaking on the phone isn't always the best option and we're not on the same cell phone network... (there's no free mobile-to-mobile) And he really does care about me. He shows me daily... but I'm greedy & selfish. I've got to admit it.

"T.O.N.Y wasn't just some regular guy"
Tony was a high school sweetie. He's a few of years older and he graduated before me. We fell out of touch after high school and recently reconnected through facebook. To him I was always a little girl, someone he was interested in and couldn't understand why... and for me... well... Tony was my dream come true...

"I could have been in love by now... if it wasn't for T.O.N.Y"
See this is the deal... I'm in NY and he lives out of state... a good long drive, bus ride or even plane ride out of state. With all of my possibilities here, where I live, where I can interact with, actively date someone, if I wanted to, and lay my hands, lips & eyes on.... I choose Tony.

I choose Tony, not as some redemptive involvement where I am trying to get that ole thang back, rekindling my high school flame, basking in my hey day... The grown woman me appreciates the older, wiser and grounded Tony. Newer, improved, refined.

I choose Tony, not for the butterflies in my belly feeling, the giddy laughter we share or the high school memories we have in common. There's so much more.

"But I really like T.O.N.Y"

Through the long distance phone lines and the monthly visits we both take, Tony gives me more than I've ever had, in any man I've ever shared myself with. One example of this is... you know how Steve Harvey talks about the 3 P's that a man offers (Profess, Protects & Provides), in his book Act Like A Lady..., he exemplifies those virtues. And I have never experienced all 3 virtues in one man. And I appreciate it. A lot.

The time we take to talk, listen and understand, the layers we've uncovered and the honesty we've communicated... we both treat this like a beautiful treasure, a precious pearl... more than a 2nd chance, more like a new beginning.

We're both aware that if one of us does not relocate that what we have can only last for so long. Although he takes me to visit libraries in his city when I visit and emails me job opportunities often, we're both not sure about uprooting our lives and we're still new, in a sense, but we're open.

In Solange's song, T.O.N.Y is more like an impulse, a sidetrack, a mistake. But everything about me and my Tony is purposeful, thought out, rational. Tony is my conscious choice and no matter what happens, we enjoy our time, creating new memories, a seized opportunity, rediscovered passion...