If Prince Gave Me A Private Concert

This post idea came to me as I surfed the internet for the lyrics of one of my favorite Prince songs... Anotherloverholenyohead...

First off, if Prince gave me a private concert, it would definitely end with a happy ending. I'm just saying... I love Prince. Always have. Remember that Michael Jackson/Prince battle back in the 80s? I was rooting for Prince and for me he won. He may be effeminate to some but for me he's just plain ole sexy. There is something about them dudes (Prince & Andre Benjamin) but I don't doubt Prince's... ummm... sexability. Then after the concert, and the happy ending, I'd probably be unconscious or in bliss for days after that nobody would believe that Prince Rogers Nelson even gave me a private concert.

So if Prince ever came through my hood of the Bronx or invited me to Paisley Park... he'd have to sing...

The Marrying Kind

Do Me Baby

Pop Life

Call My Name

Anotherloverholenyohead

Do U Lie

I Wanna Be Your Lover

Insatiable

Nothing Compares 2 U

I Love U In Me

Diamonds & Pearls

Purple Rain

Take Me With U

I Feel For You

G.O.D.

Adore

When 2 R In Love

Now in whatever order he chooses to sing these songs, it's fine with me but I know he'd start out mellow, amp up to a easy dance groove and then end it with ballads and pure sensuality...

Freedom...

This time last year, with a heavy heart and reluctance, I ended a four-year committed relationship. It was a struggle for me... leaving the comfortable, the familiar, in search of... journeying to where...


I can tell you that my relationship was far from peaches or cream, for more that half of its span. We loved each other and we depended on each other but the connection that forms between lovers either never formed or was long ago broken and we never tried to fix it.


As we said our good-byes, that was our opportunity to make or break but neither one of us had the energy to give or the humility to admit our wrongs.


Another man had re-entered my life before my break-up and the possibility of being with him warmed my heart. Everything between me and him happened so fast. Within a day, we professed love. The connection I craved in my four-year relationship, I had in this new relationship instantly... we just didn't see the cracks nor the blemishes. But at first glance he was perfect, everything I dreamed of in a life partner, the answer to my silent prayers. But just like a rebound he slowly fizzled from my life.


It was then that I decided that I would remain single for the year or longer, if necessary... and as life would have it, another man re-entered my life. Now this involvement is so different than any other... it is far from fast paced and just the speed needed for me to clear my clutter, heal my heart and reconnect to all I lost and compromised from being committed. Oh I know that compromise and loss aren't necessarily the norm when you enter into loveship... I even forgot that loveship can be and should be easy.


It has taken me almost a year to find out that all I wanted and craved I couldn't find in a new relationship or with any man. It has taken me this long to see that money, nor any other things, places or people held the answers I sought. In fact leaving my relationship granted me freedom... I am free to think, feel, say, look, taste, touch, smile, laugh, play, sing, dance, write, read, pray... I am free to be neat, a slob, cook, don't cook, sleep, stay awake, clean up, stay dirty... I can and I do whatever I want... whatever I feel.

Freedom feels great! No, better than great... it's almost orgasmic! And now that I've got this chance to reclaim it, I savor it... and with my next go-round, I will be reluctant to release it... but my prayer is that with my next go-round, releasing it won't even be an option...

Being...

Around my birthday I went through the experience of losing my wallet that included my debit card, a couple of credit cards and my ID. I felt unbelievably vulnerable. I called my bank to check my bank balance only to find out that somebody went on a spending spree with my money. They were gracious enough to leave me with $5.22...

I was nervous about switching money around so that I can pay bills and keep myself afloat but I was reassured that my card was inactive and my account was safe.

However now I find myself broke... or as I told my friend last night BROKEN... I tell my peeps that I'm not broke unless I have less than $20 in my account. If I can still go to the ATM, I'm not broke and I know how make $5 go a long way. Well now I am BROKEN. That means less than my normal standard of less... but even as I use the word I know that I am all right...

I paid my bills. My rent is covered. I have food in my freezer and my cupboards. If worst comes to worst, I have good friends & family who I know will carry me... but I don't have to worry about that. In fact with me having just enough, I am satisfied. I feel free.

No I don't have the luxury of going out to eat... but I can throw down in my own kitchen... nor am I able to treat myself to the movies... but I have unwatched DVDs and Movies on Demand at home... I am unable to spend money unnecessarily... but when I had more than enough I can't say that I was overjoyed and overwhelmed with happiness. What I have been doing is being more creative, conserving and being aware. I have a closet full of clothes & shoes and I need for very little...

It's funny how life comes full circle... Sometimes it's a blissful breeze or it smacks you hard... I remember saying not long ago how I have been watching a lot of TV, not reading for fun and feeling out of sorts, unconnected... even to myself... Well now that I am going through this moment, I have been reading more, shutting my TV off, posting here ~*smile*~

I am compelled to get back to the basics of being... I could be pissed, mad at the world and complaining constantly about everything. However, when I weigh my circumstances I see that my blessings outweigh my disasters. So I am humbly, happily, truly being me.

I Tell The Business....

I don't do it purposefully or maliciously... but I tell my friend's business. I do.

I am sure we all do. You know how you're talking and someone says something and you chime in with... I have a friend who does that or went through that.

Well I do that sometimes too... but mostly, I share my friend's stories & experiences. I know, should they come through and read this, they won't appreciate me telling the business like I do but I can assure them... their story can and has made somebody else feel better.

Now I would and I do share my own experiences. Out of my co-workers and friend , I have dated the most and I think I have and give great dating advice. But just yesterday when I was talking about the types that I attract, I was gonna talk about the types that my friend DC attracts, which are hella better than mine. While I attract "potential dudes", my homie attracts "established dudes"... that's a post for another day. And to tell her business... but it doesn't matter what kinda dude she attracts, she likes girls now... See how effortlessly her story spills out of my mouth... or outta my mind and on to this blog...

I know it's wrong of me... and I credit myself on being a person who thinks before she speaks. I do choose my words wisely. But there are times... and those times are plenty... when some words spill forth...

Now I do have some colorful stories to share... and I do. Those who are close to me and even those not so close... get a dose of "life story". Sometimes my stories are hilarious and sometimes they are painful... however I get bored with my stories... and I find that my friend's experiences are much more extraordinary.

Should they share my stories, I wouldn't mind... but I know me telling their stories... without their permission is not always cool... and I have gotten reprimanded a time or two so I know it does cause a bother... So I stand convicted and I vow to be mindful...

"Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips."

I Know My Type...

I seem to attract 3 types of men...
This post idea came to me this morning as I am walking to the train station heading to work. I was about to turn the corner of my block when here he comes...

Now, I am a non-discriminating dater. I do, however, have a preference, the undeniable type that I am attracted to. But a dude who looks like the 2 above, but also gripping the hell out of a beer can, ashen and it's only 9:45 in the morning... not MY choice.

And I know before he even reaches me what he is going to say. Do you have a minute brutiful?, Can I leave you my number ma?, Have a good day gorgeous... I politely smile, tell him to enjoy his day and turn the corner.

Now there is a variant of this type that I also seem to attract... he has the potential to do great things. He's book smart. He finished high school... maybe... but right now? He's unemployed. He lives with his children's mother and also at his grandmama house when wifey is mad at him. He gives me his number on a paper bag and tells me not to call until next week when he adds minutes to his phone...

Once again... not necessarily bad dudes... just not the dudes FOR ME.

Now my 2nd type always makes me shake my head and sigh...

With a one-two glance, I can check a man and see if he has on a wedding band or if he has the tan line around his ring finger from wearing a wedding band... yet that never seems to stop this man from trying to holla. I am not interested in Mr. Married Man Single... I am not interested in being Ms. Sideline and I have no idea what vibes I am giving off but I desire a man of my own... not one I have to share.

And then there's my last type... This is an inside joke among my friends. You see, with my full hips and short stature (making me plus size) I already know I am not everybody's cup of tea... but when it comes to this man...

Oooh oooh Mr. Lover Man... Clive, Garfield, Donovan, Douglas, Elston, Rohan, Everton, Linford... or whatever his name may be... When I come 'round, my friends... (except for CB) don't. stand. a. chance. LOL
Now there is something sensual about a west indian man... I happen to be of west indian descent... and the combination of beautiful teeth, a deep voice and... the accent... is enough to make me swoon.

So... my type...? The ones I see and my heart beats double time...?

It is what it is...

Random Words I Type... Birthday Love...

I bask in the glow of turning 34...

I celebrated my birthday all weekend long... beginning when my friend arrived in town on Friday night... and then on Saturday with my awesome friends...

This was the 1st birthday I've ever had when I planned my very own outing. I usually stay low-key when my birthday comes around. I'll go to the movies, the spa, hang out with a friend or a love but never before have I planned something for me and my friends. When I turned 30, my ex planned my birthday celebration with a couple of close friends. That was nice and intimate... but this time I decided to do something fun, engaging... something I've never done...

Hookah!!!This here is me and my co-worker, my partner in crime, my play sister, play cousin, my ace, CB. See the boobies? It was their birthday celebration too! LOL - do you see the hookah pipe? I would have posted a pic of me and my guy but he insisted that I do not post of pic of him on my blog. Boooo to him. But he's the one who took this pic of us...

For those who don't know hookah is a water-pipe filled with fruit and a mild tobacco. I found this fabulous hookah lounge in the West Village and we passed the pipe with some fresh pineapple. It was wonderful! And to top the night... a belly dancer graced us with a performance... one of my friends let her know that it was my birthday and she called me up to dance... I had to show and prove! LOL


On Sunday, my actual birthday, after going to church, me and my friend enjoyed an intimate seafood dinner at one of my favorite seafood restaurants. "We must have oysters", he told me, "They're aphrodisiacs", he explained... and we dined on raw oysters, clams, fried calamari and red sangria...


I truly enjoyed my birthday and the celebration continues for the entire month of October... this birthday has been so lush, so decadent, and overwhelming. I'm grateful for another year of life. I am grateful for a plethora of blessings. I received numerous cards and gifts from my friends and most of all, I was and still am filled to overflowing with love.