Black History Month 2008

Black History Month '08 is coming to a close... This marks the 6th year that I have been working with the youth in my church and trying to engage them in Black History beginning with the African Diaspora to the present. They all seem extremely uninterested. One of the youth wore a Nefertiti pendent around her neck on Sunday and showed it to me as she explained that it was her African attire for our annual celebration. I asked her if she knew who Nefertiti was, she simply said no. As I began to tell her I could see the invisible eye lids cover her eyes. And that's the exact response I got for the entire month as we discussed the history, the movements, events and changes that have taken place. I swear someone should develop a Black history video game but then who would play it? I copied and printed a Black History quiz and distributed it one Sunday and the adults were coming to me complaining that they couldn't answer the children's questions. It was funny but then again it's not. There's a well-known quote which says "Those who do not learn from their past are doomed to repeat it." I would think that we would be more hip to our contributions to this country and the world at large just so we could tap into our inner power and realize that we are so great, so wonderful, so powerful a people that we don't have to settle or feel downtrodden... that even when our current circumstances seem bleak, we know from our history that even now, we shall overcome...

Famous African-American Quotations

"I belong to a group of people that God-omniscient, omnipresent God, God of all power-says, 'You're my children and you're the same as anyone else." ~Adam Clayton Powell Jr.

"There can be no black-white unity until there is first some black unity." ~Malcolm X

I am America. I am the part you won't recognize. But get used to me. Black, confident, cocky; my name, not yours; my religion, not yours; my goals, my own; get used to me. ~Muhammad Ali

Racism is not an excuse to not do the best you can. ~Arthur Ashe

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity. ~Martin Luther King

My father was a slave and my people died to build this country, and I'm going to stay right here and have a part of it, just like you. And no fascist-minded people like you will drive me from it. Is that clear? ~Paul Robeson

Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed. ~Booker T. Washington

Black people have always been America's wilderness in search of a promised land. ~Cornel West, Race Matters

You can be up to your boobies in white satin, with gardenias in your hair and no sugar cane for miles, but you can still be working on a plantation. ~Billie Holiday

“God makes three requests of his children: Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now” ~African-American Proverb quote

"There will always be men struggling to change, and there will always be those who are controlled by the past." ~Ernest J. Gaines

"Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work."
~Booker T. Washington

"I like to tell the truth as I see it. That's why literature is so important. We cannot possibly leave it to history as a discipline nor to sociology nor science nor economics to tell the story of our people. It's not a ladder we are climbing, it's literature we're producing, and there will always be someone to read it." ~Nikki Giovanni

What Would You Do?

Almost 15 years ago, while a freshman in college, I met a fellow student. She was pregnant and needed notes to catch up because she missed a couple of classes. Me being helpful, I lent her my notebook and we became instant friends.

Today I'm wearing a silver chain with a silver puffed heart pendant that she gave to me for Christmas that year. I remember how nice it was of her to buy me such a beautiful gift, especially since we had only known each other for about 3 months.

I think about her often because I miss her. Shortly after giving birth to the baby, we lost touch with each other. She was living with her boyfriend and child's father then. He was a cool guy, a decent boyfriend and I had a college boyfriend then so we used to all hang out. But even when we were all chillin' I noticed and my boyfriend noticed that my friend's man would flirt with me.... a lot..... At first, I thought nothing of it... at first. However my boyfriend was very much hip to it and didn't want to hang around them as a couple but I still kept in contact with my friend, mostly via the phone since she took leave from school to have the baby. But then her man started calling me when she wasn't around. Like after she gave birth and was staying with her mother for a month so that her mother could teach her how to care for her child and the times after that whenever she wasn't around. We didn't hold long conversations. In fact, I would interrupt him before he got vulgar and end the call. Finally I got harsh and explained to him that he and I weren't friends and he shouldn't be calling me. Instead of me telling my friend that her man was calling for me and was trying to hold indecent conversation, I pretty much just stopped calling all together and she got the hint and stopped calling me too.

I watched ABC's latest primetime "Hidden Camera Experiment: What Would You Do?" last night. They staged a camera crew and some "what if" episodes to see how people would react given various situations. One scenario featured a man who saw his friend's fiance in a restaurant eating and clearly cheating with a co-worker. He was confused about what to do but when his friend arrived to the same restaurant after his fiance left, he told him exactly what he saw.

Fortunately for these people, it was just an act created for entertainment. Fortunately no one's feelings were hurt and I was glad that that man's friend was honest and upfront with him. My friend used to tell her boyfriend that I was her only pretty friend and I had a nice shape and I thought that that was what piqued his interest. I was fearful that she would think that I was to blame, that I was trying to entice her man, that it was the other way around, that I wanted him. I didn't know how the situation would turn out if I broke down and told her what had been happening but I never got the chance to find out.

Given a situation where you see your friend's significant other out and about cheating or if your friend's significant other was trying to kick it to you, what would you do?

LIBRA WOMAN

I am such a Libra woman and I appreciate my co-worker YJ for sending this to me....

Libra women will air their clever wits any time a subject appears with the slightest possibility of debate. It could be anything from why you shouldn't wear button down collars to what's keeping you from getting a raise at work. (She'll feel the latter is partly your fault and partly your boss's fault. Everything with Libra ends up as six of one and half a dozen of another-just so it all comes out even.) If you refuse to rise to the bait, she'll argue with herself.

A Libra girl can start a donnybrook alone, pursue it alone and finish it alone, in a grand flourish. Your only contribution may be "But why?" or "I don't think so," but sometimes that's all she needs to deliver a brilliant monologue, which may last for an hour or more. Through it all, however, you'll probably be drowning in her charm. She'll turn on that unbearably delicious smile every third sentence or so, and you'll end up changing your mind as effortlessly as she changes her sex by taking over the man's prerogative, then switching back to a cuddly love bunny. She'll convince you with pure clear logic. You won't lose much-except your pride, and you'll hardly miss that, under the spell of that gentle Libran smile. She's usually right, because her final decisions are as carefully considered as those of the Supreme Court.

Libran females don't need much encouragement to start a verbal comparison going between any two points of view. A politically active season will give her lots of chances to sharpen her rhetoric and her argumentative talents. She makes a great political worker, once she's made up her mind which side and which candidate is right.

Aside from the typical Libra penchant for weighing everything twice to make sure she didn't miss a point, she can be quite a lot of woman for a man who's interested in romance or companionship or both.

Her tendency to argue is really based on a sincere desire to reach an im­partial decision. It could be worse. At least she doesn't make up her own rules as she goes along, or stubbornly resist all reason, like women born under some other Sun signs. Besides, most of her opinions are presented with diplomatic tact, which somewhat softens the blow.

Snow Day

I really don't like to call in on a Friday but there are 2 reasons why I did just that today...

The first is I have been singing the "It Ain't My Job" tune for the past couple of days because I've been asked to train the person who took over my previous position. Saying that I don't want to train her is an understatement but I told my previous supervisor "Sure", with a smile, and I've been venting about it since.

The second reason for calling out is when I got up this morning and looked out of my window and saw the foot of snow outside (it was really about 2 inches), I just had to call in sick. I have a large amount of sick time that I will never be compensated for anyway... I betcha nobody showed up to work today... and I can find about 48 more excuses to justify my calling out. lol

Overall I think I had a good work week. I must add that I really enjoy my work. It could be so much worse and by just reflecting, me and my co-workers really have it good. Our salaries could be 5% higher but we have such a relaxed work environment, hardly any pressure, we take long lunches and breaks, we shoot the breeze all day, we text, instant message, email, all at our leisure and it's so cool.

But I thought I would recap my week with my "Likes"...

Saturday.... I liked the carrot cheesecake I had at The Cheesecake Factory (I am such a foodie).

Sunday.... I liked DeepnThought's post "Are You a Diamond or Glass Pretending To Be"... I've been doing some reflection and readjusting this entire week from that post.

Monday.... I liked how I did absolutely nothing but sleep, read and watch a little TV. It's not often I get a free day like that but when I do I just want to wallow in it.

Tuesday.... Reading Opinionated Diva's "Flashback Friday, Date from Hell" post. I purposely did not read her post until I was back on my desk on Tuesday. For some reason I love cracking up at the job, laughing and staring at the PC like some nutty chick but that's the experience that I so craved and waited for.

Wednesday.... I really liked QueenofMyCastle's post "I Choose"... This woman has an alluring mind! I admire her choice and use of words, her freedom in expressing her experiences. I am so moved, so moved.

Thursday.... I liked CapCity's "No mo' Excuses Dagnabit! Get Back on Track!"post ... this big girl needed the inspiration...

Friday.... LoveBabz came through today and I paid her a visit and her post
"Faith Forward Friday: I Am The One That I Want" had my smile creases folding. I truly admired "I do know that I am fixing my mind to attract my heart's desire, just as I am growing myself to become my heart's desire... with God's help of course."

Ramblings

February is almost done and I can't believe that I've yet to make any 2008 changes. My days go by with simple continuance, monotony, mundane. It would be nice if the flip of months of the calendar could be the means for changing my life.

I could be in one of my depressed stage because I simply want to go to sleep and wake up somebody else... A skinny somebody... A taller somebody... A wealthy somebody... but I'd probably have lingering issues and problems that I couldn't have imagined... nah, I'm good just being K... but I think I need to hit the sack before 12:30 a.m. because my ole body is telling me that 6 hours of rest ain't cutting it no more.

PROCRASTINATION IS THE THIEF OF TIME! And I procrastinate all of the time. I do some serious positive self-talking to get my lazy butt up and do the things like I need to do... like getting to work... rather than journal and daydream.

And then there's this thing I have with being on time... I'm not. I'm late for work everyday but once again I'm thankful that I work for such a flexible establishment... I'm not even bragging about being late because it's like a sickness or something that I just can't shake. For the past 2 days I woke up earlier than 6:30 and I still arrived to work by 9:50 a.m.! Well there was a slight train delay today so I may have been at work by 9:40 but it's still not 9:30 (the real time I'm scheduled to be in). I used to arrive in the office around 8:50 a.m. back in the day... like around 4 years ago... geesh!

My co-worker Saki is due for another lashing... I thought I was scornful but that chick has got me beat. My other co-worker, CB, has a cold that I think I may be catching by the way. If I find myself sneezing in multiples again, then I'll know it's her germs that caused it because yesterday she sneezed about 15 times in a row. Anyway, CB helped me replace the water bottle for the water cooler and Saki comes running with a tissue to wipe the bottle down. I'm cracking up thinking about it but at the time it was not funny. Me and CB kinda sorta ganged up on her but Saki is oblivious. Mind you CB didn't put her hand in the water. No she just touched the bottle that nobody touches unless they will be replacing it once it's empty and since Saki doesn't do that, she doesn't have a thing to worry about. Unless CB's germs are gonna crawl and squirm into the water and infect all who drink it. Saki could have rubbed some alcohol on the bottle of water... or she could have had some hand sanitizer on the tissue but she just used a dry K.leenex.

I had this crazy dream last night that me and my co-workers were doing the "Remember the Time" dance in some dance studio. We were all doing the dance on step, in time, in the beginning but towards the end we forgot the dance moves and of course I was embarrassed since I'm a trained dancer and all and this dude that I used to date at work was in the back, not dancing, and looking at me like I was some fiasco. Then my other co-worker, who I'll call R. comes over with his hand on his hip and says "Honey, I don't know why they teach us these stupid little dances when we're going to Long Island City anyway". I guess I have subliminal issues about my job grouping a bunch of related divisions and relocating all of us into a single building in a whole 'nother borough.

I can't seem to shake Ayo's "Down on My Knee's" out of my head. I've been dancing to the song and singing the chorus all day long. "Down on my knees... I'm begging you..."

Last thing... the fire alarm goes off in the building and it's almost 5:00 p.m. I'm due to stay at work until 5:50... but I'm tempted to grab my bag, coat and put my boots back on so I can head skraight home. I'm in the middle of blogging anyway, so I opt to stay at work when Saki comes over to me, leaving her desk and walking all the way over to mine just to tell me to call security. I know her accent is thick and she may not articulate as well as the other people in our department so I just slip my head phones on and turn Musiq up a little louder...

Nostalgia for the 80s

Nostalgia describes a longing for the past, often in idealized form.

This weekend while vegging out in front of the TV enjoying the lengthy weekend, I happened upon VH1 Soul. The videos playing were Al B. Sure's "Nite and Day", Michell'le "No More Lies" and I got nostaligic for the 80s. Some people feel depressed when they ponder over the past and sometimes I do but I can't help but remember how easy it was back then... Just getting up, going to school, getting good grades, not worrying about work or money, just coasting. When it took no more than 3 days to get over heart break (Deshawn with your fine self!)...

I grabbed my pad and started missing....

My brother’s boom box

Osh Kosh Overalls

Acid wash & two tone jeans

Members only jackets

Leather bombers & sheepskins

Jelly sandals

Menudo & Michael Jackson buttons

L.A. gears

New Edition

Charm & rubber bracelets

Hanging out at the basketball courts until it started to get dark... oooh Derrick!

The old/original KSwiss, Filas, & New Balance

Wearing glasses when it was considered a trend and not a necessity (the knock-offs because Mama couldn’t afford no Cazals)

Cross colors & Karl Kani

Doc martin boots

Lace and fishnet stockings (which are also back in style but not as appealing as it was then) & Lace ankle socks

Janet Jackson’s song & video “Pleasure Principle” … I could have killed myself trying to do the part of the

dance with the chair

Oh well, all right – the entire Control album

Crushing on Theodore (Theo) Huxtable

Jamming to Computer Love, Teddy’s Jam, Anything by Keith Sweat, Just Got Paid, Roger & Zapp or any song created in the onset of the New Jack Swing era

Going to the movies to see School Daze 3 times... Doin' da butt!

My suede black Pumas with the silver on the side and my white on white shell top Adidas - BOTH pairs with fat laces

Stirrups – oh this woman here at work still rocks stirrup pants EVERYDAY! I wonder where she finds them because I want to that store and burn them all

Wearing scrunchy socks with Reebok classics in any flavor

Dookie gold earrings or in my case, the fake ones because Mama wasn’t buying ‘em.

Big up to my first boyfriend LG who bought my first pair of door knockers in the ninth grade

Cutting my hair into the Anita Baker style, later coined the Halle Berry

Purple Rain... The movie & the soundtrack

Doug E. Fresh, Slick Rick, The Get Fresh Crew & The Show

This Is Why I'm Hot!

Please keep me in your thoughts today. You will never believe the news I received. I had a check-up today and I tested positive for sexy. I am allergic to haters and my blood type is ballin', my pulse is pimpin' and da doctor said this is why I'm hot! -Unknown Author

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

I am actually not a big fan of this particular holiday with all of the flowers, the chocolates, and how everything is more expensive today than it will be tomorrow...

But I love LOVE and any day where love is a focus is all right with me.

I love my Daddy, my first man, for calling me this morning and wishing me a lovely Valentine's day...

I love receiving chocolates but I feel so guilty after eating more than three...

I love the beautiful pink, yellow & white flowers that arrived this morning at the office and surprised me - Thank you so much Sweetie!...

I love my Sweets for remembering that red flowers are not my favorite...

I love the phone calls & text messages from my homegirls and homeguys...

"Love is a symbol of eternity. It wipes out all sense of time, destroying all memory of a beginning and all fear of an end." ~Author Unknown

A clip of Raphael Saadiq's video "Ask of You" ~ one of his great songs.

What Age Do You Act?

Borrowed this from MzNewy.

You Act Like You Are 22 Years Old

You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel like an adult, and you're optimistic about life. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. You're still figuring out your place in the world and how you want your life to shape up. The world is full of possibilities, and you can't wait to explore many of them.

What Age Do You Act?

T.G.I.F.

I'm so thankful today....

• Thankful that it's Friday and although I have a busy weekend ahead, I don't have to hustle and bustle down to the city
• Thankful for the little shy boy on the train who smiled at me when he made eye contact and covered up his eyes when I smiled back at him
• Thankful for my mom giving me a Starbuck's card that I intend to use after work
• Thankful for the quiet now that everyone has left to go home
• Thankful for my co-workers who make the day go by so much faster & for the laughter during lunch
• Thankful for Lady Saw's "No Long Talkin" playing and keeping me alert while I listen to Pandora
• Thankful for income tax returns
• Thankful for the yogurt & muffin I ate for lunch from Zeytinz ... dang that yogurt was good
• Thankful for the Ash Wednesday service that I attended & received ashes on my forehead
• Thankful for a wonderful week sans complaints & moanings

HaVe A wOnDeRfUl WeEkEnD!

The Love List

I was reading O! Magazine last week and there is a featured article entitled The Love List. The woman in the article created a list of all of the qualities she wanted in a potential mate. She created this list to send out to the universe so that she would attract that special someone in her life. Years later when she met a possible suitor, she gave him the list to peruse and to both of their surprise he only missed 2 qualities, unimportant qualities at that.

I pulled out one of my many notebooks. I'm a stationery junkie so I have blank notebooks, pads, journals all over and I proceeded to write my own love list. It never occurred to me to create a list like this before. I've got small wish lists in my head like: a body like Michael Jai White, a face like Boris Kodjoe, a bank account like Diddy's, teeth like Morris Chestnut (I'm only joking) but those are surface qualities. This woman in the article was told to write 100 qualities. That's a lot to even think about but when you're describing that special someone you are looking for, it's good to get specific.

Here's a small list of my own desirables...

1. Shares my spiritual values

2. Has a reasonably normal familial relationship with close family & especially parents

3. Wants to have children or supports & spends quality time with children already conceived

4. Has a wonderful sense of humor

5. Employed in a legal profession

6. Confident enough to let this woman be herself

7. Educated or well-read (It's nice to have book smarts but it's great to have wisdom & common sense)

8. Accountable for their own paycheck, checking account, savings account

9. Honesty inspite of whatever I feel or say or do or don't do or don't say

10. Emotionally vulnerable

11. Sensitive to my emotions, feelings, opinions

12. Be a Leader

13. Handy with most tools... hammers, nails, drills, etc. (If I can do it, my mate better be able to do it)

14. Faithfulness

15. Talks as well as listens

Worst Things to Say at Work

I found this article on AOL Careerbuilder this morning and added a little touch of my own.

This marks my 11th year working in a Library system. I’ve been a Librarian for almost 3 years and while I never thought this to be my dream job, there isn’t anything I would enjoy more. I truly love what I do. There are a lot of changes taking place not just in my department but system-wide and when I saw this article, I know that the 10 Worst Things To Say at Work applies...

1. "That's not my job."
Lately this has been my adage. I got a promotion last year July and the person who replaced me makes me question if she rode to school on the short bus. I was nice when she first arrived, I helped train her and I gave her all of the information she needs. However she’s still at my desk, calling or emailing me. I vented to my supervisor who told me to take the time out and train her but the entire situation makes me wish I followed my first mind and sent my resume outside of the Library for another position but strangely I’m loyal to this place.

2. "Yeah, no problem." (If you don't mean it.)
Who's got love for passive-aggressive people? No dangbody, that's who! Fortunately this isn’t an issue for us in my department, however this happens a lot in the Library and then you see the punk ducking you in the hallway, failing to answer emails and doing everything else except for what they said they have no problem doing…

3. "Don't tell anyone I said this, but ... "
With all of the changes and restructuring going on here, it’s hard not to spread the newest round of rumors heard.

4. "I haven't had a raise in four years."
Library workers might as well qualify as minimum wage workers. There are high paying jobs in some libraries and different areas but usually not in Public Libraries. Thank goodness most of us are union members however we only get a raise every 3 to 4 years so that’s just the norm for us. When I had a non-union Library job, that I so loved but couldn’t stand my supervisor, we got our full 4% raise each and every year.

5. "It's not my fault."
Imagine your boss/supervisor saying “Well who the hell else fault is it?" I can’t see anyone saying this at work, possibly ratting on another co-worker. Everyone at my job has very technical and individual titles so it is hardly anyone else’s fault but we can and sometimes do repeat #1, "that’s not my job”.

6. "To be honest with you... "
This is one statement that I can’t stand to hear. To be honest with you… is the beginning of something negative or as my co-worker, CB, says negatory.

7. "Whom did you vote for?"
After yesterday’s primaries, this is definitely an issue in the workplace today. I do not engage in political talks in the office. First off, who cares? Feel free to vote for whomever you like. Why engage in conversations like this when you’re only gonna get mad at someone else’s views and choice. The real question, especially for Black folks, is “Did you vote?" It’s best to keep conversations light & funny to help get you through the day not dampen it.

8. "I got so trashed last night ... "
Amongst your peers, your friends, this may be cool but getting “trashed” or drunk (the term I would use) is so really unattractive.

9. "I just didn't have enough time for that."
LOL – this is a funny one to because my supervisor would only say, “Oh yeah, you didn’t have time for it? Is it because you’ve been umm, I don’t know, blogging all dang day? Or is it because you’re glued to CB’s desk?”

10. ". . . or else."
The most likely response to follow would be “Or else, what?”. “Or else” is a threat. "Or else you gonna quit?" "Or else you gonna call our sick?" How about your supervisor telling you “Or else your ass is fired!”

Kara Walker: My Complement, My Enemy, My Oppressor, My Love

I had an awesome experience and privilege this weekend of attending the Kara Walker exhibit "My Complement, My Enemy, My Oppressor, My Love" at the Whitney Museum this weekend. I thank blogmate CapCity for posting and reminding me of the exhibit.

The exhibit ended on Sunday, February 3rd and I was glad to catch it right before it's end.

"In the blistering art of Kara Walker, prim silhouettes wallow in crude sadism, pantomiming the tragic history of race relations in the United States. The 37-year-old African-American art star channels her rage into highly refined installations, films, drawings and paintings that reveal how the shadow of slavery still haunts American culture. Morbid and darkly funny, she delves into the ways blacks and whites alike have been traumatized and twisted by their cruel and mutually destructive history." -By Ariella Budick - Newsday.com

Nine things I am suspicious of...

Nine things I am suspicious of...

I borrowed this from DeepnThought's post yesterday. I've got what I call a suspicious mind. I should really entitle this "Ninety nine things I am suspicious of" because I am suspicious of everything (I get it from my mama). For the sake of posting, I can narrow it down to just nine.

Number 9.
Pyramid schemes. They come in all forms nowadays, Amway, Quixar, Noni Juice... I don't knock it for those bizarre, almost cultish type folks who sell their way to residual income but it makes my right eyebrow rise.

Number 8.
Religious fanatics. I'm referring to folks who don't say hello to you until they greet you in the Matchless, Marvelous, Wonderful, Faithful, Name of their Lord & Savior, Jeee-zus the Christ!" Praise da Lawd!

Number 7.
Men who like to hang around with you & your girlfriends. Look here, private girlfriend moments are our time for talking about the trifling and yes the wonderful things that men do. There's no room for testosterone.

Number 6.
People who can't make eye contact with you or are offended that you're looking them in their eyes.

Number 5.
Fast food specials. Though I hardly eat at fast foods... during the week... I am so suspicious of the 2 for $2 or 2 for $3 specials. Why in the world are they trying to get rid of all that meat & bread for?

Number 4.
People who just meet you and shorten your name. I seem to get that all of the time. I prefer someone be familiar and close to me before giving me a nickname or shortening my name.

Number 3.
People, especially men, who call their women Baby Girl, Sweetie, Sweets, Baby, Honey, Sugar. I had this man, DRE, who did this. No sweetheart, call me by my full name and you better not slip up and call me Donna, Tanisha, Yvette...

Number 2.
Bathrooms. No one's bathroom is exempt, not even my own. They are all germy and filled with strange bugs and even when they're clean, I think they are just plain ole dirty!

Number 1.
People who use pay phones. I'm not talking about people who use the pay phones on the subway platforms... well the pay phones that work on the subway platforms. Almost everybody has a cellular and almost everybody has a land line phone. If you're using a pay phone, a nasty germy pay phone at that, you're doing some talking that is definitely suspicious. Why can't you talk on the home phone? Huh? Why can't you call that person and let the cell number show up on the caller ID? Hmmm?