Monday, November 26, 2007

I Know I'm Snappish - Blame it on the Estrogen!!!

I'm not a fan of makeup, however I do wear it from time to time like on some Sunday's for church and the occasional moments when I do party but I don't knock the people who do wear it everyday. Most times I don't feel that I even look right or that I've applied the eye-shadow correctly at all. I love to see my co-workers done up and I enjoy watching the steady armed women who apply make-up on the trains, which actually grosses me when I think of the contaminants circulating on the MTA. But for my everyday, lotion, maybe mascara, (usually under the duress of my younger alter ego) and lip gloss will do. A few years ago, I was caught off guard at the Fashion Fair counter and I had a brief makeover. I was adorable when I walked out of the department store, with $100 worth of make-up to boot. For me, it's hard as heck for me to get up in the morning and get to work on time but surely applying make-up would keep me in the mirror even longer and it's just not worth it.

While I am not picture perfect, I accept the way I look, in fact I love it. I highly regard fashion magazines and all that jazz but I enjoy it as it is, an artist's work. My own complexion is not even. I wear the fading marks of hormonal and infrequent break-outs on my cheeks and I have what I refer to as West Indian darkness (the inheritance of my Antiguan father), otherwise known as under-eye circles. I admire those with smooth skin but that's not what I have and though Ambi products & I are tighter than Jordash, I can't see myself reaching for cover-up. And as for eye make-up, I rub my eyes too much and that's all I need to do is ruin my own work or spend my day trying not to ruin my "face". I'm telling you, mascara is a hot mess when you already have the W.I. darkness and you've mistakenly added to it. I opt to apply a little sheer lip gloss and roll out.

A friend of mine recently took a picture of me and while I do enjoy his artistry, I instantly looked at the photo and knew he had touched me up. After cursing him out, venting, ranting off and on for hours and accusing him of being a "photoshop junkie", I sat down and realized that I loved the retouched picture. It was perfect but when I look at myself in the mirror, I do not see the person in that picture and briefly I felt bad about my uneven complexion and my under-eye circles that suddenly made me look extremely racoonish. He showed me the untouched photo and I love both of them and felt bad for the way I spoke to him. He changed the photo to the original and I told him that the first photo was fine but I see he hasn't made the changes to his Flickr page yet but I'll consider that laziness and not a shrug at me for the mistreatment he received.

Another friend of mine and blogmate Miss-Stress posted "What is Beauty Anyway? (I think that's the title but I'm not sure and I won't check it today because the title isn't relevant, the content is). In her post she spoke about make-up and body types and hair textures and it really is a good post, I agree with her completely. So I apologize to you FP for my loose lips. You love me and forgive me, I know you do sucka! but as I let you know before I stormed away from you today is that I appreciate my natural self: blemishes, "roller coaster curves" and all. The pic you created doesn't change the way I feel about me and I had to remind myself of that today.

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