I always talk about my sister-friend DC. Though I never go into details about her... she's a psycho. While she is not mentally stable, she is my best friend. I have to keep her close because she knows way too much and if she started talking I'd have to kill her.
One of the things DC does when she's trying to reach me is instead of her leaving a detailed message, she doesn't leave a message at all. She literally calls back to back to back until she's exhausted. No, she's not thinking that I am dead or injured. She just has to call me numerous times until she gets me. I hate that. She comes off as a scorned lover and everybody I know thinks that she is or was my lover at some point in our friendship. My guy, my ex-guys, my friends, my mom, everybody. On any given day, she'll call me repeatedly about 10 times before she stops.
Today though her mother is trying to reach me. I see where she gets this psychosis from. Her mother won't call and leave a message until around the 8th call. I sat at my desk, chit chatting with CB today and she witnessed the phone ringing. I just checked my cell - 9 missed calls and no message.
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I went to the beach on Saturday and my feet got tanned. Only my feet. As much as I like tanning because I love dark skin, my feet look crispy. I hope I'm not offending anyone. I think I need more lotion or baby oil and some socks. I'm not liking this tanned feet look a'tall.
I have been watching the 2008 Olympics and feeling like I can relive my high school volleyball days so me and my guy bought a net and a ball. We played against each other because we have no friends - no couple friends anyway. For the past 3 days I have been nursing the biggest bruise on my forearm from that plastic damn ball. I enjoyed myself and I played a good game but I am no Kerri Walsh or Misty May-Treanor.
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I want to write self-help books. Yes I think I can help people especially the people who seem to cause me the most grief. This is really funny because I am reading Birth Order books and it says that only child personalities should not write self-help books because they never grew up with siblings. I'm not really an only child but due to the space between me and my brother's birth, technically we're both onlies. Plus I have 2 older siblings that my dad created before meeting my Mom. I should post about my family craziness. Or maybe not.
In any case, I want to write 2 books - What Not To Do in Relationships and How To Leave Messages for People You're Trying to Reach. As you can see, I'm only joking with this. As much as I love to write, it's hard as heck trying to put together a book.
Here is a short view of what I'd put into What Not To Do in Relationships
* Do not tell the person you are in the relationship with that you love them until 364 days after you meet them. If you tell them after the 1st date, they might lose their mind and either leave you or want you to move in right away.
* Do not rush into anything. Go very slow. Snail's pace is best for your pockets and your state of mind.
* Do not make a commitment within the 1st 6 months of the relationship. This way you'll see the potential for their true craziness because they have been pretending sanity for the first 6 months.
* Do not leave the bathroom door open. That's right, if you want a lasting relationship, when they have to sit on the toilet, tell them to close the damned door!
* Do not expect for them to have it all together just because they holla at you. It is wise to leave 3 to 6 months open in the beginning of the relationship for them to end the booty calls, the ex-girlfriends that just didn't get it or for the divorce to finalize. As you can guess, I'll be writing from my personal experiences.
Here is a short view of what I'd put into How To Leave Messages for People You're Trying to Reach
* Leave a detailed message with your name, your topic of discussion and that's it!!!! Do not just say "Hey K, call me back" - I HATE THAT! People, I don't like to talk on the phone and I don't want to call you back!!! What's the purpose of leaving a message? Plus I can't stand checking messages. So by leaving a detailed message, that alleviates me having to talk to a real person... See I don't have anything else to put into this book. Maybe I should just leave that as my voicemail message and answering machine message.
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I told my guy that I wanted us to go to couple's therapy. He looked at me like I was crazy but the truth is I just want the therapist to tell him that he's crazy and tell me I should leave his crazy azz!
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There's this guy at work who I used to date years ago. He once left the job and I was ecstatic because that allowed me some time to get over him, but then we kept in touch but at least I didn't have to see him everyday. He came back to the job and for 3 years I ignored him and almost forgot about our dating days. Long story not too long... he's married now but his nose is still wide open for some K. For the past year we've been speaking again and he's been crazy jealous over my on-the-job hunnies - even the ones I don't claim. I used to think it was cute but I now I want to shout at him "Why the hell did you marry her then?!!!". I guess it's a man thing because I know he doesn't really want me (just wants to sex me) yet he doesn't want anyone else to want me (have sex with me).
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I went to the DC37 union website today to see if there is any news of a salary increase. NOPE. I really don't like being a union worker. Raises that come every 2 to 3 years sucks. They are reorganizing this whole establishment but they ain't talking money. It's been 2 years since we had a 2% raise. I'm heated. The only good thing I have to look forward to is the retro check once the raise comes through. That is... if I'm still employed here....
6 comments:
She must really be a good friend because calling me 32 times a day is grounds for divorce.
I like tanning too. I love dark skin especially on my men :)
How do you only tan your feet?
Please tell me you weren't wearing a sweatsuit on the beach.
Your book on relatonships would have/will be good for me. I have done points 1-3. And number 1 is the one I want to scream about. He will say girl you don't even know me. D*mn.
The therapist could tell him that about you. lol. Just joking.
Try a friend who gets mad everytime you mention men even though you are only suppose to be friends. And who won't quit calling and let you gather your thoughts. Then doesn't call for a few days and shows up like what. And tells you he is moving to another state but he refuses to let you go so you can work his azz out of your system. .. oh my bad. I lost myself.
Queen,
I have purged DC several times but then I realized I needed her. Her crazy comes in handy sometimes.
I wore shorts and a tank on the beach. I see that I am tanned on my arms and my feet but not my legs. I just noticed it today because I wore a dress to work.
LOL with your not tell the guy you love 'em. I'm banning those words for the 1st 365 days in my next relationship.
I thought about the therapist telling me that I'm the nutty one. I read about something like that in a book not so long ago. Hey whatever the therapist says is fine as long as one of us gets left. But then I'd miss his azz.
Your guy friend is wack! Selfish azz. I know all about him and his cousins that we can't seem to get out our systems. Hopefully he finds his right mind, stops his foolishness and realizes you're the one he wants and needs.
I fell you on the self-help books. Whew girl, having male attention after you ain't had it in a while makes your head swim...but I digress (happily). I need to take some of that advice.
I was laughing at the therapist, be careful what you ask for.
I can't stand when people call my house and then they start ringing my cell phone. I just want to pick it up and tell them I obviously don't want to talk or I would have picked up the phone when you called, right? Girl...I feel you on that one!!!!!
I'm happy for you Ms. Kay C! You're doing something right and your confidence is gleaming streaming the attention your way.
I tell people to pick one number and leave a message, stop trying to track me!
I will be your first customer for the "How to Leave a Message" book. This is such a pet peeve of mine.
Problem is, I'm ornery enough not to respond to your calls just to see how many you'll leave before doing the right thing and leaving a message. AND, unfortunately, I've got a few folk in my circle that will leave a message, wait 30 minutes and then call and leave another message, and then repeat that pattern until I respond. Those, I'm pretty much ready to cuss out. What do they thing? The voice mail only notifies me when I've received 5 calls?
Ugh!!!!!!!
Kiaya... I usually let them keep calling - it's a sickness I tell ya! LOL - We could probably collab on the book since I need more ideas....
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