"Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." - Captain Corelli's Mandolin. "Love is the beauty of the soul."--St. Augustine
The other day my mother bumped into one of her old girlfriends and my old baby sitter, V. She told V I was still living in her old apartment and she could come see me whenever she felt like... if I was home. V is like a mother/aunt to me, since she baby sat me for about 5 years. I love V, I mean really and I can't stress it enough. She's close enough to me like a mother, but also like a friend. She was the first I told when I first experienced intercourse. I ran to her when I was 18 and helplessly in love and my mother couldn't understand why I was possessed. V is one of the most loving and caring women in my life.
She has always been sensual and vivacious. When my mom used to host house parties, V was the life of the party with her signature black tube dresses and her long, thick, wavy hair combed to one side, falling over her left shoulder.
V’s favorite color was black. Everything in her house... the tile on the floor, curtains, table, and all of her furniture & appliances was black. At Christmas, though, she always had a silver tree. One year she decided to paint a big black bold V on her wall.
I remember raiding V’s closet for my favorite pair of shoes that belonged to her. She had these black kitten heels with feathers across the toes that I loved to slip on my feet and parade around her house, although they were too big for me.
V used to smoke More cigarettes with the brown paper, which were long and elegant – which probably lead me to smoking Clove cigarettes because of the dark paper and the elegant look to them but it was also the clove smell appealed to me.
My mother told me once that V was every man’s dream. She explained that V was the type of woman who woke up earlier than her man, cooked his breakfast, ironed his clothes, ran his bath, put his slippers right by his side of the bed and would even put his toothpaste on his toothbrush. I tried that once and all that catering and pampering gets tired real quick.Last week Thursday, shortly after coming home from work, I heard V in the hallway of my building before she even rang my bell, “K, are you in there with those big pretty legs?”. (For the record, my legs are huge, not big) I opened my door and there was V, 61 years old and still as beautiful as she was 30 years ago when I first met her. Her hair, though still long and wavy has thinned and grayed with age. She’s still curvy and she still has a smile like sunshine. Accompanying V was her fiancé, 46 year-old Romeo.
At 61, V has never been married though she has her share of past romances. I invited V and her fiancé in and pretended to grill him to make sure he was really into my auntie and not just stringing her along. He left shortly after meeting to wait in his car and me and V had a little chit chat about love.
She explained to me how she met Romeo also known as Mega Man (a nickname she gave him and I see she is still every man’s dream, making this man feel Mega). She asked me about getting married and I danced around the issue until she interrupted me and said...
"K, make sure you are equally yoked with your man. Sure it’s good if you both have the same beliefs in a higher power but even if you don’t make sure you have the same beliefs in a good life, finances, physical health, family, respect and love. Remember marriage is forever so take all the time you need."
At one point my family constantly got on me about getting married before I got too old and I told V about my father’s comment in particular. He told me to get married, if it doesn’t work, then get divorced – as if it’s that simple. She laughed then and told me that my father was just joking but this time V said, "and don’t listen to your father either, marriage is simple and yet not so simple. It’s worth it if you are committed to the right person."
Finally I asked V, who has had her share of heartbreak, why isn’t she bitter. She told me plainly and yet I’m paraphrasing a little, "K, I love love. I love all it contains, the feelings, the smell of it, the joy it brings. Love is why I exist. Love is who I am. I can’t help but love, fall in love, and try love again and again and again. Love wakes me up each morning, tucks me in at night. Love is like the sun rays upon my skin and it's in everything I do - the food I cook, the way I walk and talk. I believe in love. I just can't help myself."
K's Love List
91. Gently tells me when I'm wrong and knows just how to criticize me without being too critical
92. Entertains my wild side - like Dwele sings in his song "I'm Cheatin'"
93. Knows that I prefer lilies and daisies over roses
94. Works hard to get rid of his baggage just as I work to get rid of mine
95. Expects me to be his woman, his life partner but not his replacement mama or maid
If you wanna check out a love list supreme, check out Lovebabz's Love List
Other lovelisters are... Kiaya, Kay C, True Urban Queen...
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