Thursday, May 15, 2008

My Name is Shirley

Okay, I'm not that crazy today. Annoyed? Absolutely.

The most aggravating man on the planet lives across the street from me. Well probably not on the planet but definitely the worst that I've experienced in a long while.

I see him often and every time I see him, he tries to talk to me as if he's just laying eyes on me. That's actually a compliment and a pain.

Every time I see him, I tell him that I'm unavailable. I tell him to have a nice day and walk away and he always follows me so after all of that, I tell him to LEAVE ME ALONE!

I think part of the problem is the language barrier. He is not a native of this country and I won't say which country so that I won't offend anyone... but even his broken English is bad and I have an ear for picking up words and dialects but his is just skraight crazy!

So today we happen to walk out of our buildings at the same time and I am really tempted to turn back around and go upstairs but I was already late (as usual). I do put a hefty pep in my step though. Out of my side vision, I see dude actually jogging to catch up to me. Uggggh

The first words out of his mouth are "You are just going to have to kill me today". Inside I laughed but really he's annoying so I didn't even offer a smile. So I say "Good Morning" and I turn around for him to see my face as I tell him to "Have a Nice Day!". But instead we have a very painful dialog in which I tell him my name is "Shirley" and ended with a "Can I contact you?" and a firm NO is always my reply.

I know I'll see him again. I mean he lives directly across from me but I think I'm going to have to leave for work earlier (as in on time - LOL) or wait until my man comes through so I can introduce them (I don't think that'll even work though). So there's nothing much I can do but bare the pain.

The funny problem that I have is my choice of my alias name. I always choose Shirley. I think I've been Shirley since high school. I had a friend named Shirley and that may have something to do with my choice..... but Shirley is an all right name. Shirley is not sexy. Shirley is no where near being close to my real name, which begins with a K but I'm not ready to share it yet. When I think of Shirley I think of Shirley Chisholm or Shirley from Laverne and Shirley. It's always the first name on my lips!

The thing is when I see people who I've given the name Shirley and they call me out, I never answer. I don't even remember my own alias!

So from here on out, I'm practicing my new name in my head.... once I think of one. Maybe I'll choose Vanessa, Renee, Diana, Toya, Janet... something with VAVOOM! ...Sandra, Crystal, Maria, Betty, Beyonce, Ashanti....


Don said...

lol @ not even remebering your own alias. too funny. idk, you might want to inform him that stalking is a felony.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

Yeah, I agree with Don. . .he needs to be informed about stalking.
I am so stupid. I never make up alias names. Because, I can't think that quickly. Yes, I am pathetic.
I'm approached, What's your name? Think fast girl.
Sharon. (screams in her head).

MsKnowitAll said...

The stalking isn't a real issue yet, but I think I'll forewarn him in case it gets nasty and maybe that will deter him - Yeah! Thank you guys.

Don... there's something about that name - when i hear it, i don't connect it with me but the minute i'm trying to blow someone off, it falls outta my mouth!

Sharon... i hardly use the alias except when someone doesn't realize the hard stare and "have a good day, all right" are rejections. so i fully understand ya!