Wednesday, December 31, 2008

In Transition... 2008 concluding posts

I have been transitioning for a while, in a lot of areas of my life, but one particular area that is transitioning is my hair... I have stopped putting chemical relaxers in my hair and allowing my natural hair to grow in.

I'm learning that transitions are HARD!

First off, my natural hair is ummm.... let's just say that when my hair was long and straight people used to call me Pocahontas. Now they are definitely going to call me Kizzy. It's a shock now when I wash my hair and then can't comb it. I am stunned when I want to comb it one way and it's doing it's own thang. But it's my natural hair. It's thick, it's kinky, it's unruly and in every way it represents me. My hair is coarse. Always was, even with a relaxer in it. It just seems right to allow it to be unprocessed, raw. And my personality is a match for my hair. RAW. I have couth, I really do, but I don't have that mechanism that says, "K, sugar coat this". If you want the truth, just ask me.

I've learned some lessons about life recently while pondering what in the hell I'm going to do with my hair.

Transitions are sometimes ugly. When you want a desired effect, you have to brave the unpretty parts first. You're faced with decisions that you never had to make before. Do I choose the easy guilt laden road or do I tough it out and choose what's best, what's healthiest for me? I have 15 inches of hair and 12 and 1/2 inches of it is straight, thin and not so pretty 2 and 1/2 inches is crinkly, brazen and wild. Everyday won't bring sunshine. Every road won't be easy and sometimes it's going to be downright horrid. But you have to tough it out to see the beauty.

Transitions require patience. I'm a get up and go kinda woman. My morning routines are trouble-free (although I'm lazy and late to work). Now I have to take time with my hair where before I would comb out my doobie and step. The same goes for life. Routine is easy and can be done without thought or creativity but you can't have transition without tolerance.

Transitions can be uncontrollable. It's been 20 years since I've seen more than an inch or so of my natural hair but I never imagined throwing a hat over my head for days because I'm baffled about what to do with this. The thing with transitioning is that 2 things are going on at the same time. You're moving from one area to another and the end may not be visible. Everything seems to be awry but you have to allow the uncontrollable to be uncontrolled and know that eventually all will balance out.

With transitions, there are always options. I can do the big chop. I can put braids in. I can go through the daily battles or I can always relapse and go right back to my favorite Dominican salon and feel guilt as they apply the chemicals. I'm heavily treading on the daily battles road. And life transitions are the same way. You can quit your job and move to another city on faith. You can plan and map out the process and then leap. Or you can brave it daily, taking it one day at a time.

My 2009 is definitely going to be high and memorable, transitions and all. I cannot wait for the spring and summer months, the birthdays, holidays and celebrations to come around again. I can't wait to experience it all with a newness, slight innocence, with anticipation. I vow to take 2009, one day, one week, one month at a time, purposefully living each day to its fullest.

5 comments:

Kiayaphd said...

Aw, congratulations on your transition! You are so right, transitions are hard. I remember when I went through this process, I had to make a conscious daily decision to cope with and learn to understand dry, rough hair, unruly hair, unkempt-looking hair, daily. I knew that without this process, I would never fully understand the hair I was born with.

That was one of my better transitions. Some of the life decisions are much harder and is still a work in process.

Congrats and Happy New Year!

MsKnowitAll said...

Kiaya... OMG!!! In comparison to life's transitions, this is easy and very interesting. I love the roughness of my hair. I love that my roots are thicker and my hair looks big as opposed to limp and lifeless.

Thank you and again may you have a Blessed New Year!

TRUTHZ said...

very well written... seems like a lot of us are under going transformations and positive transitions. May 2009 be better than your wildest dreams

MzTeeJaye said...

Hey, I did the big chop in June..talk about transition! Every day I'm learning to love my hair, myself and this transition a little more. It takes work, time and patience but it is all good and well worth it!-

ChezNiki said...

Continued success with your various transition(s).

I wanted to comment on the natural hair situation, though. Ive gone back and forth (perm and natural) all my life. Last time (2006), I cut an afro. But as it grew out, I realized that the texture (of my natural hair) had changed! My hair wont lock or hold a style anymore. It got softer, a lot softer... looking UhnFuFu right about now, because all the natural styles I could whip up before no longer work... on my own head?!?!? May be my age :-(

Anyway, one thing Ive learned about transitions, is sometimes you need to seek a professional! Try "Turning Heads" (natural hair salon) in Harlem on Lenox Avenue in the 120s. Also, try a flat iron... you know... to smooth the transition!

Happy New Year!