Monday, July 7, 2008

WE vs. ME

I love relationships. I love being in relationships. I love doing couple's things and being able to look across the room and say, "Wow, that's mine! Smile and wink and share the knowing glances that only you two share. I think that I'm a balanced, a fuller person especially when I'm in a good relationship.

At the same time, relationships are never about the I, but about the WE - at least they're not supposed to be. Sometimes while doing the WE you lose yourself. Lose the things you love, the places you like to go, the people you like to see and the things that inspire and empower your everyday. I should have personalized that... Being in my relationship, I find it hard, almost a fight for me to do the things that I really enjoy for a number of reasons (not all bad reasons). So I find time for the things I like and I do them alone... sometimes.

It's a battle of the WE vs. ME. It's July now and I've got the rest of the summer to look forward to. It's hot out and my eyes are open for the next concert, the live performances, poetry nights, museum exhibits and street festivals. Little does my Love know, the Me is about to win!

WE vs. ME

We like shopping in the Home Depot, Lowe's and any home improvement store


Me likes sitting on the beach, sipping on something cold, getting toasted by the sun

We like strolling through the isles of BJs, Costco or Target


Me likes sitting in a dark theater watching the latest Blockbuster

We like picking out lawn furniture and putting it together


Me likes sitting on the lawn furniture while listening to Erykah, India, Jill, Goapele, Dwele, Anthony, Musiq, Maxwell, and Amel Larrieux while I'm sipping on a screwdriver reading Tananarive Due or Bernice L. McFadden

We like staying at work until 8:00 at night


Me likes hanging around the j-o-b until 8:00 so that I can catch the free movie at dusk

We don't like driving in the rain


Me picks up an umbrella, some rain boots and keeps it moving on public transportation

We like to stay at home and enjoy each other's company


Me likes socializing outside of the home until the wee hours of the morning

I know this is probably wrong but... WE are good but I like ME better and before resentment settles in, I think I gotta give in for some ME time.


Shai said...

I kinda miss being a we. I been a me for awhile now and it has its pros/cons.

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

I love being in a relationship too. Now if I could just find one to get into.
I have been doing the me thing and wouldn't mind a little we thing.
I guess in time.

Liryc said...

The me thing is cool. I love spending time with myself. I love my me time, but there are times when you just want to be a We. On a rainy saturday afternoon, its nice to sit at home with your guy and just pop popcorn and watch T.V. or stay in and cuddle, under some covers and drink hot tea. This post reminds me of the Heather Headly song. Me time, trust me its not all that its cracked up to be sometimes.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

It's not wrong. You should not lose yourself in order to become a better "we" for anyone.

I love the picture with this post, who is the artist? I need that one over my favorite reading chair. You always have great art with your posts.

Lovebabz said...

Being a committed WE ought to allow the ME to shine and be ME! A strong WE, supports and allows for the ME to fly solo on some trips. Not all the time mind you, but enough that the ME gets the independence it needs.

The WE is only as strong and solid as the ME.

Do not feel guilty for taking ME time. It is healthy and loving. Giving back to yourself makes for a better WE!

blackstarr said...

Yeah - I think you should. Resentment is not a good thing. Peace.

MsKnowitAll said...

Shai... Hello Sis! I love being part of a We, I do. There simply has to be a balance.

Queen... Your We is on the way! Like you said, in time.

Liryc... Your We is on the way too. Your me time is momentary. You just ended a relationship girlie!

Lovebabz... Thank you Sister. I appreciate your comment. It affirms my thinking.

Blackstarr... Thank you Brother. Resentment is awful and I know the pattern so I know that "me" time is a necessity.

Ms.Honey said...

AMEN!! Sometimes I like ME a lil more than WE as I like to say you gotta be you and I gotta be ME :)

MsKnowitAll said...

Hey Ms. Honey!!! How are you girlie! I know you're *here* with me on the WE vs. ME issus.

Kay C.... I forgot to answer you about the artist. His name is LaShun Beal. His work is awesome.

Anonymous said...

This is the first time visiting your blog and might I say...I LOVE IT. I am visitor on Don's blog and decided to check you out because I like your comments.

Anyway, I think everyone has to have some me time or else resentment sets in and the WE will simply not exsist.

MsKnowitAll said...

R... thank you for visitng me! Thank you Sis. I know for me, ME time is a necessity!