I remember the 80s hit by Robert Palmer "Addicted to Love". I loved the video with the "matching" women in black dresses, hair pulled back tight in a bun and those redder than red lips. But the lyrics...
“Your lights are on, but you’re not home
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another kiss is what it takes
You can’t sleep, you can’t eat
Threes no doubt, you’re in deep
Your throat is tight, you can’t breathe
Another kiss is all you need”
I told you the story a few months back about my friend who was in a relationship with Jay-Z in my Untitled post. Everyday she spoke to him, she would recall conversations, tell me what advice Jay had for her… this is a classic love addiction. The truth is that my friend was very lonely. She was approaching 30 at the time, she was single, no children and she deeply desired a connection to someone. For her it was Vibe magazine shots of Jay and his music. Sometimes it can be a real person.
“You see the signs, but you can’t read
You’re runnin at a different speed
You heart beats in double time
Another kiss and you’ll be mine, a one track mind
You can’t be saved
Oblivion is all you crave”
When I told my friend’s story, I also stated that I was in love with an imaginary lover. Someone who occupied bedroom space, mental space but little to nothing else. This was not what I wanted for myself and I ended the relationship.
There is a support group for love addicts and they have a website (I included it below). When I visited the site I was interested in seeing if I truly was a love addict or just making bad decisions. Of the 40 questions presented, I have to admit that I answered yes, honestly, to a bunch of them. I’m not ashamed of it! I make mistakes! Sometimes I think with my emotions and not with my mind. However I don’t consider what I’ve felt or experienced to be an addiction.
*I know I’ve been so caught up, so into someone that if I received a late night phone call intended for one thing only, I’d jump quickly into a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, the sexy bra & panty set I bought for such occasions and some flip flops and high tail it over to his spot or slip out of bed, into the shower, shaving my legs and arm pits, combing out my doobie and slipping on some lingerie and high heels awaiting his arrival.
For some that just plain ole horniness and lust. For some it can be an addiction.
*I know there was a time or 2 that I dialed a number repeatedly because I knew he was home, either alone and not answering my calls or with someone else. Okay – yeah – maybe that was addiction.
*I know I have fantasized about a certain someone and what all we could have been if only we stayed together.
*I know I love romance and sentiments and I’ve given it some intense thought.
There are all kinds of love addicts. I won’t get into them much but the link to Love Addicts Anonymous is http://loveaddicts.org/.
Love is sometimes crazy. Sometimes love hurts. Love can feel overwhelmingly good and at times it can be the most serene sensation. I love LOVE. I’m never going to end my quest for it. I have had some exceptional love moments, love sessions, love affairs that I will never regret but what I’ve learned is that healthy love begins with me. I can’t find it in anyone else no matter how good they deliver. I don’t have to seek it in the imaginary because it’s real to me, it resides deep inside of me, I exude it, I demand it, and I claim it. I have so much love that I freely give it…
K's Love List
71. Knows to love healthy and loves me strong
72. Doesn't hold grudges (I borrowed this from Kiaya, another Love Lister)
73. Very slow to judge others
74. Blesses each meal
75. Has a long memory and recalls even the smallest memories that we share.
If you wanna check out a love list supreme, check out Lovebabz's Love List
If you wanna know just How "Magic" Lists Work