Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Golden Rule: Reciprocity… Love List Thursdays

“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.” ~Maya Angelou

I believe that all of my life I have been a giver and therefore I am a better giver than I am a receiver. Often when someone gives back to me, I feel guilty. I do not know why and I am still trying to understand it...

In the West Indian culture, it is common when visiting someone’s home that you always bring something and you leave with something. At least that’s with the older generation and I know it’s not exclusive to just the WI culture. The other day I was visiting my dad and I brought him my old cell phones for him to take back on his visit home. One is for my niece and the other is for her cousin. I also brought him a straw hat. In turn I went home with a bag of fruit and a T-shirt. This has to be the first time that I didn't feel so guilty afterwards, however it's the give and take principle that I'm trying to emphasize.

The same is true in love. Nowadays everyone seems to be so selfish. They want love and they want to have it their way. Customized Love. Greedy and want it all kinda love. Some people are not “courageous” enough to love and give their all and/or they won’t allow people to love them in return. Because they think that by doing so, they will only get hurt. We say we want someone to love us and then find reasons and actions to push them straight out of our lives.

The truth is no one enjoys loving and not being loved in return. The essence of love is that it is given, treasured and then returned. Another truth is reciprocity is no guarantee. You can love someone with the best that you have, fervently, only for it to be ill received or ignored. You cannot make someone love you if they don’t. As wonderful as love feels, it hurts like hell when it turns bad.

If you have found that one or if you are in pursuit, the golden rule is reciprocity… giving and receiving mutually. Love is just a feeling. If you don’t feel it, you cannot fake it. Yet if you do feel it you owe it to yourself and the one you love to allow the power of love to work.

K's Love List

61. Loves me reciprocal
62. Supports me in all of my endeavors
63. Loves me fairly/equally
64. Encourages me
65. Allows me to love him
66. Excellent in conflict resolution
67. Non-resistant to change
68. Empathetic to my thoughts & feelings
69. Sexual, physical, intellectual compatibility
70. Knows how I value chocolate

If you wanna check out a love list supreme, check out Lovebabz's Love List

If you wanna know just How "Magic" Lists Work


The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

"You cannot make someone love you if they don't"
I tried and prayed for that once.

I am making a love list. I don't plan on posting it. I just want to write it all down and see what happens.
This love list thing is difficult sometimes.
I write something and then ask myself why I like someone who doesn't do that or hasn't done this.

Facing the truth is awful and freeing.

Kiayaphd said...

I am also creating a love list; it is posted on my blog. I believe that love in more than a feeling. If it was all emotion, then as soon as he leaves his dirty drawers on the bathroom floor then I am out of love. I think that we "fall" in love but we make a decision to "love." That's what I'm trying to do. You have inspired me! Thanks.

MsKnowitAll said...

Queen... I have been there... sometimes I am there and I so feel you. Put your feelings and thoughts out there (on your journal, releasing them to the universe). Love is hard sometimes but when it's good, it's soooo good.

Kiaya... Greetings to you! LOL @ the dirty drawers on the floor. I know exactly what you are talking about. I have to come to your blog & see your list.

Ticia said...

Hey - this is great -
I needed this list - It goes with my post today and earlier this week -