Thursday, July 17, 2008

Love of My Own… Love List Thursdays

I remember a time in my life when I desperately wanted a man. With everything in me I was on the prowl. I went clubbing with my friends, hanging out in after work spots, attending mixers and what I noticed is that I kept attracting men who were already attached. I knew that there was something in the energy that I exuded but I didn’t know just what it was.

Around this time my girlfriend KC had just hooked up with her man and all she talked about was this Montell Jordan look-alike. I was heat-ed and jealous and I wouldn’t talk to KC for about a year. First off, all she talked about was how fine he was. Secondly he appeared to be the most stable and responsible brother and I wanted someone in my life, just like him. It took my sisterfriend DC sitting me down and explaining that he really didn’t look like Montell Jordan, which actually lifted my jealousy a lot. LOL

What I came to find was that I was always going to attract a man who was married or attached to someone else if I wanted what someone else had. My AHA moment! As DC’s Jamaican mum would say “That’s heavy stuff”. In order for me to attract a man for me, I would have to do some soul searching and determine the qualities I desired in a prospective partner.

I do not talk about my relationship much… and if my girlfriend/co-worker/therapist/play cousin CB reads this, she will definitely beg to differ. But I don’t blog about my relationship or I may but I mask it up when I do… My relationship is very fragile and has been for a while and I try to keep our matters contained. I won’t get into details but I will say this…

It’s not easy learning and loving someone especially when it seems like you’re riding on the worst emotional roller coaster of your life. However the love we share, that was developed from day one, I prayed for and found. We cultivate it and our love resounds between us two, not us three, definitely not us four – just us two. It took me years and lifetimes, kissing frogs and falling fervently on my knees before this love of my own came along. It’s not like KC’s love (and I thank God for that because Montell Jordan’s not twin has turned out to be a heart breaker). My love compares to no one else’s and that makes it imperfect perfection.

K’s Love List

51. Not legally attached to someone else
52. Not emotionally attached to someone else
53. Knows what it means & takes to be devoted
54. Sensitive to my needs & wishes
55. Knows how to be playful and loves having fun together
56. Sexually uninhibited
57. Enjoys making me feel special
58. Allows me to make him feel special
59. Knows how to give & take control
60. Knows how to cook very well

If you wanna check out a love list supreme, check out Lovebabz's Love List

If you wanna know just How "Magic" Lists Work


Don said...


long time no hear. LOL.

i have no doubt that you will be pleasantly surprised by that which your heart desires. i am a firm believer that, whatever's inside a person's heart, will become bestowed upon that person. whether that something is good, bad, or ugly.

so enjoy when the shining moment arrives. i know you will.

i pass every number on the list, except number 52. but it's coming. it's definitely coming.

enjoy your day.

Kay C, The Quiet Storm said...

I understand were you are coming from with this. My previous relationship was often referred to by friends as "wanting one just like it." Little did they know the drama involved with it will keep me writing NY best sellers for years to come.

I agree with the love list, and attracting what you want to you. I need to start one of my own since I have grown and learned from my ex.

Keep your faith...and your determination.

MzNewy said...

I haven't been by in awhile...but are right on time with this...I blogged about Six little words "I'm not ready for a relationship" and Priority or Option today....which is along these same lines...then to slide over here and read I seem to attract Mr. Emotionally unavailable. Great Post!!!

Ticia said...

This is awesome - thanks for sharing -
I am still waiting on the one - I hope and pray that he is everything I imagine!!

Love the list :)

MsKnowitAll said...

Don... it has been so long! Thank you for coming through and commenting. Your kinds words are so true. LOL @ your #52 halt. I know it’s coming for you too. All things in time.

Kay C... I actually thought about you while writing this… the KC reference... lol. Thank you much for your thoughtful comments. I believe in the power of positive thoughts, affirmations and our goals as reminders and focuses. I’m sure your love list would be remarkable.

MzNewy... Girl I am shocked to see you! It’s been sooo long! Glad that you have visited AND commented!!! I have to come by your way, I’ve missed you! Just as Brother Don said & I too believe, whatever is in a person’s heart will soon be bestowed upon them. Mr. Emotionally unavailable disappear for you and Mr. Helplessly Devoted To You will be on the arrival.

Ticia... It's a pleasure sharing! Your "One" is being prepared at this moment just for you and when you blog about him, I'm going to comment like "I knew it Girl!". Then I'm going to avoid your blog like I did my friend KC. LOL

Liryc said...

I have been there on several occasions. I sit and ponder on the "what if's" that someone else has. I have learned through many trials and tribulations that its not what the other person has that you want. I am still learning to just let things go and not worry and wait.

As impatient as I am, I have to just be still and calm and know that its on its way. I love this list. I am so serious when I tell you that you and I are twins!

The True Urban Queen aka Sharon said...

As always food for thought. Especially for us single women.

I love your list. I have to really sit down and work on one.

You really have my mind going with these relationship blogs. I was married for years and still young. So, I never thought about what I wanted. One day I knew what I didn't want. Got divorced. Wanted to have fun. Play for almost 4years. The 5th year I don't want to play and I don't want to be alone.
I have to work on a list. Then, I guess stop looking and let it come.

MsKnowitAll said...

Liryc... my mother used to always say whatever you look for will come to you when you stop looking for it. Patience is a virtue.

Queen... (gawk) I have a relationship blog? I must change up then. LOL. Good things happen in 3s and 5s. I'm sure if you look things over you will see where changes have occurred. I'm waiting on your love list. It's bound to be stern & hilarious!

Mizrepresent said...

I love your list, and it seems that you are comfortable in your love relationship...i have hopes of falling in love again, in fact i welcome it now that i am free of the emotional baggage that i carried with me from my last relationship. Thanks for sharing lady!

Monique said...

I feel you on keeping the details of your relationship to yourself. That's how they last and work. Granted we all blog or talk about those frustrating "What the f#$3 was he thinking?" times but some things are better left unsaid. I won't reveal my guy's real name and prefer to call him Mr. Big because he's much like the character from SATC. Our relationship is so twisted to others on the outside that know us but it works for us.

Ticia said...

HAHAH - thanks - LOL

MsKnowitAll said...

Mizrepresent... it's a pleasure. Isn't it a wonderful feeling when you've put your baggage to bed and said "good night!"? LOL

Monique... LOL @ your Mr. Big reference. All my girlfriends have told me on one occassion or another to leave. But I'm still hanging til I'm ready to be out.